I hereby resolve...

It's been some time since I've done this, so in the spirit of the New Year holiday, let me offer up my Top 10 Resolutions for 2008:

10. Stop stalking Marie Osmond.

9. Finally, once and for all, kick the Human Growth Hormone habit.

8. Go postal when the Wendy's drive-thru staff keep interrupting me while I'm placing my order.

7. Find a way to avoid any church-related Friday afternoon meetings at my office.

6. Go postal when the Burger King drive-thru staff keep interrupting me while I'm placing my order.

5. Accept Carman's never-ending request to record a rap duet album.

4. Flunk all of my speech students...and feel good about it, darn it.

3. Trade in this worn-out hairpiece for a quality rug.

2. Get back down to my original fighting weight of 225.

1. Accept my party's nomination for President of the United States.

Happy New Year!

Merry Christmas!

For 20 big bad years, Darlene Love has appeared on Letterman to sing "Christmas/Baby Please Come Home". Unfortunately, the writers' strike kept her off the airwaves for a 21st year.

But, here she is in all her glory 2 years ago in the best version of this song I've ever heard. Fantabulous.

Merry Christmas!

Ten and Done

This coming Sunday is my last "official" Sunday as Sunday School Superintendent. I think that's the most times I've used the word "Sunday" in a sentence, by the way. I may be there on the 23rd to help out one last time, but the 16th was the day given on my original resignation notice, and I'm going to keep that the official date.

I'm not going to sit here & bash anything or anyone. I have a full week and can't fit in another meeting.

Seriously, I'm just sitting here and thinking about the last 10-plus years. It's been fascinating. Had God not led differently, I would've done this for 10 more. But, that can't happen.

Keeping this on an optimistic note, I remember some of the best moments of the last 10 years. I remember our Parenting Conference at Immanuel, where we had moms and dads as far away as Shelby and Lincoln Counties coming to our seminars and hearing our speakers and class teachers. I remember our game-show fellowships..."Who Wants to Win Some Free Stuff" (taken from "Millionaire") where we had Bible trivia questions under the familiar game show format. "Match Game" where I spent most of the weekend constructing the set and then just about had to censor our interim music leader for an answer he gave from the panel. "Family Feud" on a Sunday night where, before I purchased my Game Show Theme Song CD for events just like this, I had to have "Baptist to the Bone" played as the show's theme.

I remember our chili suppers, Sunday School Round-Ups, and all the other events along the way.

But more than that, I remember hearing so many class members find a closer relationship with Christ and with their fellow church members by participating in a class. The love my teachers showed for their members can't be overstated. I have more respect for my teachers - past & present - than simple words can show. I hope they know how much I love each of them.

It's been an amazing decade. I'm so blessed and deeply thankful for the experience.

The Basics of Life, Pt 1

We didn't have church this morning because of the ice, so Tammy & I got to have a deep philosophical discussion about church.

Please forgive me for being vague. However, I'll need to keep this generic in order to keep the Blog Police who came to visit me four Fridays ago from visiting me again.

But, I digress...

On Friday night, I had the chance to read a couple of really good articles from this month's Pathway newspaper. They spoke specifically about the lack of meat in churches today; the articles specifically referenced how we as Christians willingly threw out the baby with the bathwater when Bill Hybels and his "seeker-sensitive" model of church became all the rage a few decades ago. In the interim, our churches have thrown out expositional preaching and traditional Christian courage in proclaiming Christ in favor of felt-needs based "programs" and slick slogans for success.

Let me clarify here - I'm not speaking about "one" church or "a" church...I'm speaking about many.

Years ago, I remember a very simple church motto that would be sneered at today by many: Where everybody is somebody and Jesus Christ is Lord.

Don't get me wrong - I believe there are places for new ideas & methods. Quite honestly, many of them opened new and exciting doors of opportunity at my current church over the last decade-plus I served as Sunday School Director.

But when a church adopts these methods and bases its ministry on its relevancy to the secular world and a hard focus on numbers versus doing what you think is right and what is Bible-based and letting God handle the rest, you're in trouble.

I remember a few years ago when Hannibal's high school football team (I'm a former proud Pirate) played Pattonville in the district playoffs. I was at the game and watched a Pirate player take a kickoff and streak through the Pattonville defense, seemingly on his way to a touchdown and what could've been the nail in the coffin in the game.

But, he turned around to look to see who was gaining on him. In doing so, he dropped a step, and before he could reach the end zone he was tackled at the 3 yard line. On the next play, there was a botched snap from center, and Pattonville picked up the ball and ran it back 97 yards for a touchdown. Pattonville never looked back and eventually won the ballgame.

I learned two important lessons from that turn of events.

First, run hard and don't look back...someone might be gaining on you.

Second, who cares if someone's gaining on you? If you're doing what's right, and you know you're doing what's right, there's no reason to look around to see what others are doing. As long as they're going to a Bible-believing church, isn't that the goal? Do what God leads you to do, not what others are doing.

I hope you enjoy these next two articles...they really spoke to me where I'm at right now, and I hope they shed a little light on a situation I've previously tried to write about, but without the good choice of words these two authors selected.

The Basics of Life, Pt 2

This is the first of two articles I wrote about above. The article can be accessed here, but for those who choose to not link through, the full text is located just below.

Dever cautions about 'relevant' mindset

Posted on Nov 7, 2007 by Garrett E. Wishall
LOUISVILLE, Ky. (BP)--The health of local churches doesn't depend on relevance to the world and success in numbers, but on reflecting the character of God and upholding His Word, Mark Dever said at a Southern Baptist Theological Seminary forum.

"I would like to suggest that the most fundamental problem in the church is not that we are not relevant enough in relation to the world, but that the church is not distinct enough from the world. Our churches must reflect the character of God," said Dever, pastor of Capitol Hill Baptist Church, Washington, D.C, and a trustee at the Louisville, Ky., seminary.

Church leaders should channel their energy toward maintaining purity in the church instead of spending great amounts of time and ministry on relating to the culture, Dever said at a forum sponsored by the seminary's Korean Student Fellowship Oct. 9.

The idea that the Gospel must be made relevant is a liberal assumption which, if taken to its end, can result in the theological liberalism of Friedreich Schleiermacher, the father of Protestant liberalism, Dever said, adding that numerous church models seek to be relevant and do not reach the unorthodox conclusions of liberalism but remain unhealthy because they are based on an unbiblical definition of success.

"The problem with the seeker-sensitive model, emerging church model and even the traditional model that say, 'Get as many people into a room as possible and share the Gospel with them,' is that they view success in light of visible fruit," he said. "All three of these approaches say, 'Change your techniques and let's get some numbers.'

"Instead of being directed by [visible] success, we should be directed by faithfulness. We should say, 'If the Lord doesn't like our product, we will change the product.' We shouldn't take the idea that if we don't have X number of conversions in our church, then we must be doing something wrong. I am glad Jeremiah didn't think that. And I am glad that Jesus Christ didn't think that. Let us remember that we are following the One who was crucified as a revolutionary."

Dever also is the founder of 9Marks Ministries and author of "Nine Marks of a Healthy Church." 9Marks Ministries attempts to help local church leadership re-establish biblical bearings and rethink ministry methods, and to help them discover and apply the biblical priorities that cultivate health and holiness in the local church.

"You must have preaching that makes the point of the text the point of the message and where the Gospel is always present," Dever said, noting the first of the nine marks of a healthy church is expositional preaching.

"In the Bible, the people never create God's Word. Instead, God's Word always creates the people. That is how God has always worked. And that is how we should preach. That is how people are saved and how people are sanctified. God's Spirit works with His Word.

"Expositional preaching must first characterize a church that will be able to withstand the pressures of an increasingly secular culture," Dever added.

Second, sound theology will go hand-in-hand with expositional preaching, further helping people view the world through God's eyes. Biblical understandings of the Gospel, conversion and evangelism also will promote church health, he said.

Church membership and church discipline each must be preached and practiced by church leaders to maintain purity within local churches, Dever said. Church membership and discipline fulfill Jesus' command to love one another, and church leaders will give an account for the people they allow into their congregation, he said.

"The basic idea of practicing a self-conscious allegiance to a certain group of people and to a certain group of elders is taught in the Bible," he said. "Our church membership should capture what it means to be a Christian through people's actions.

"Jesus said that they would know that you are Christians by your love, not for the people in the community, but for each other. Somehow what happens in the community of a congregation is more powerful even than your individual honesty and kindness to others. I think we will give an account to God for the membership of the church in which we pastor," Dever said.

Finally, Dever said a concern for discipleship and Christian growth and a biblical church leadership structure will promote healthy churches.

Patience and courage are needed to correct a situation where the number of church members greatly exceeds those who faithfully attend and participate in the life of the church, he said.

"You must very clearly preach the Gospel, Sunday after Sunday, making it very clear what a Christian is [in such a situation]," he said.

"Second, you must be very patient. It took me two years to finish dealing with that issue, in a very stable, Bible-believing congregation. Get counsel from older men who agree with you theologically.

"And when the time comes, what is typically lacking in pastors in many cases is courage," Dever said, adding that it takes "courage to look at a man twice your age and tell him that he has been doing things wrong all his life. You must keep making it very clear what a Christian is."
--30--
Garrett E. Wishall is a writer at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary.

The Basics of Life, Pt 3

This is the second article I wrote about above...a link is provided here. But, for those who wish to see the article without linking through, here's the text below:

FIRST-PERSON: A shocking confession from Willow Creek Community Church leaders

Posted on Nov 6, 2007 by Bob Burney
COLUMBUS, Ohio (BP)--If you are older than 40 the name Benjamin Spock is more than familiar. It was Spock that told an entire generation of parents to take it easy, don't discipline your children and allow them to express themselves. Discipline, he told us, would warp a child's fragile ego. Millions followed this guru of child development and he remained unchallenged among child rearing professionals. However, before his death Dr. Spock made an amazing discovery: He was wrong. In fact, he said:

"We have reared a generation of brats. Parents aren't firm enough with their children for fear of losing their love or incurring their resentment. This is a cruel deprivation that we professionals have imposed on mothers and fathers. Of course, we did it with the best of intentions. We didn't realize until it was too late how our know-it-all attitude was undermining the self assurance of parents."

Oops.

Something just as momentous, in my opinion, just happened in the evangelical community. For most of a generation evangelicals have been romanced by the "seeker-sensitive" movement spawned by Willow Creek Community Church in Chicago. The guru of this movement is Bill Hybels. He and others have been telling us for decades to throw out everything we have previously thought and been taught about church growth and replace it with a new paradigm, a new way to do ministry.

Perhaps inadvertently, with this "new wave" of ministry came a de-emphasis on taking personal responsibility for Bible study combined with an emphasis on felt-needs based "programs" and slick marketing.

The size of the crowd rather than the depth of the heart determined success. If the crowd was large then surely God was blessing the ministry. Churches were built by demographic studies, professional strategists, marketing research, meeting "felt needs" and sermons consistent with these techniques. We were told that preaching was out, relevance was in. Doctrine didn't matter nearly as much as innovation. If it wasn't "cutting edge" and consumer friendly it was doomed. The mention of sin, salvation and sanctification were taboo and replaced by Starbucks, strategy and sensitivity.

Thousands of pastors hung on every word that emanated from the lips of the church growth experts. Satellite seminars were packed with hungry church leaders learning the latest way to "do church." The promise was clear: Thousands of people and millions of dollars couldn't be wrong. Forget what people need, give them what they want. How can you argue with the numbers? If you dared to challenge the "experts" you were immediately labeled as a "traditionalist," a throwback to the 50s, a stubborn dinosaur unwilling to change with the times.

All that changed recently.

Willow Creek has released the results of a multi-year study on the effectiveness of their programs and philosophy of ministry. The study's findings are in a new book titled "Reveal: Where Are You?," co-authored by Cally Parkinson and Greg Hawkins, executive pastor of Willow Creek Community Church. Hybels himself called the findings "ground breaking," "earth shaking" and "mind blowing." And no wonder: It seems that the "experts" were wrong.

The report reveals that most of what they have been doing for these many years and what they have taught millions of others to do is not producing solid disciples of Jesus Christ. Numbers yes, but not disciples. It gets worse. Hybels laments:

"Some of the stuff that we have put millions of dollars into thinking it would really help our people grow and develop spiritually, when the data actually came back it wasn't helping people that much. Other things that we didn't put that much money into and didn't put much staff against is stuff our people are crying out for."

If you simply want a crowd, the "seeker-sensitive" model produces results. If you want solid, sincere, mature followers of Christ, it's a bust. In a shocking confession, Hybels states:

"We made a mistake. What we should have done when people crossed the line of faith and become Christians, we should have started telling people and teaching people that they have to take responsibility to become 'self feeders.' We should have gotten people, taught people, how to read their Bible between services, how to do the spiritual practices much more aggressively on their own."

Incredibly, the guru of church growth now tells us that people need to be reading their Bibles and taking responsibility for their spiritual growth.

Just as Spock's "mistake" was no minor error, so the error of the seeker-sensitive movement is monumental in its scope. The foundation of thousands of American churches is now discovered to be mere sand. The one individual who has had perhaps the greatest influence on the American church in our generation has now admitted his philosophy of ministry, in large part, was a "mistake." The extent of this error defies measurement.

Perhaps the most shocking thing of all in this revelation coming out of Willow Creek is in a summary statement by Greg Hawkins:

"Our dream is that we fundamentally change the way we do church. That we take out a clean sheet of paper and we rethink all of our old assumptions. Replace it with new insights. Insights that are informed by research and rooted in Scripture. Our dream is really to discover what God is doing and how he's asking us to transform this planet."

Isn't that what we were told when this whole seeker-sensitive thing started? The church growth gurus again want to throw away their old assumptions and "take out a clean sheet of paper" and, presumably, come up with a new paradigm for ministry.

Should this be encouraging?

Please note that "rooted in Scripture" still follows "rethink," "new insights" and "informed research." Someone, it appears, still might not get it. Unless there is a return to simple biblical (and relevant) principles, a new faulty scheme will replace the existing one and another generation will follow along as the latest piper plays.

What we should find encouraging, at least, in this "confession" coming from the highest ranks of the Willow Creek Association is that they are coming to realize that their existing "model" does not help people grow into mature followers of Jesus Christ. Given the massive influence this organization has on the American church today, let us pray that God would be pleased to put structures in place at Willow Creek that foster not mere numeric growth, but growth in grace.

--30--

Bob Burney is Salem Communications' award-winning host of Bob Burney Live, heard weekday afternoons on WRFD-AM 880 in Columbus, Ohio. This column originally appeared at Townhall.com.

Danger at the Manger

I'm always amazed at how different boys and girls play. Girls: dolls, princesses, queens, land of puppy dog tails, yada, yada.

Boys: pirates, knights, weapons, you get the idea.

Now, when I was growing up my mom had this caroling family that she set out every year at Christmas. I loved it and even asked her if I could have it when she died. She didn't like the idea of her stuff with a name tag on it waiting for her demise, so she gave it to me when I got married.

She used to let me play with that caroling family and I would make up little stories about them traveling from house to house, having tea parties, riding in their carriage to the next Christmas party, that sort of thing.

The tradition continues in my own home. I let the kids play with various pieces of our nativity sets, as long as their careful. Remember, boys play differently.

I was walking through the kitchen the other day when I noticed three wise men and a shepherd with a Pizza Hut coupon for a free personal pan pizza. They were all placed in such a way that it appeared they were carrying it. When I asked Jonathan about it, he said the wise men and shepherd were taking the coupon to their leader so they could fight the bad guys. I told him fine, just as long as they protect the oranges and don't fall and break.

Last week, David had his entire nativity set - three wise men, Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus - all on the couch. They aren't breakable so I wasn't too worried about it. What disturbed me was that they were on a stool on top of the couch and they were surrounded by the Imperial Army. Apparently, Darth Vader had found their location and there was serious danger at the manger. I noticed later on that the wise men had been moved from the stool on top of the couch and were attempting a sneak attack on the Imperial Army. Let's hope justice prevailed.

I have always known that the boys were creative and that their creativity always involved a war, nuclear attack, or pirates. Right before Thanksgiving, they were outside doing a joust then decided to fashion rocks and sticks into spears and became, no lie, "canniboobs". After holding in my laughter and doing a little investigation, I discovered they meant cannibals.

But is it okay to do that with a nativity set? You know, Baby Jesus, pure and innocent all of a sudden wrapped at the center of an intergalactic catastrophe? Is that okay?

Those questions will have to be answered later. For now, I'll have to settle for peace talks in the kitchen between Santa and the pirates. It's either jump down the chimney or hand over the loot. I think Santa has this all wrapped up.

Nothing says Christmas...

...like Paul Shaffer & "O Holy Night", ala Cher.




Ah, traditions.

Fear the Tiger!

38-17.

Meow.

MU-OU

In possibly the biggest game since, oh, that '64 Yale-Harvard classic (what the heck am I talking about?), MU on Saturday night will take to the field as the #1 college football team in all of the civilized universe. They control their destiny - if they win, they're in...the national championship game on January 3 in beautiful, scenic, & safe New Orleans.

If OU wins, however, life as we know it is over. Dogs will start sleeping with cats, Cubs and Cards fans will wed, and former first ladies will start running for the White House.

Oh crap. I have a bad feeling about this...

Seriously. I would make a prediction, but I'm afraid it'll jinx it. I do feel very optimistic, however.

MIZ - ZOU

Just spent the last 3 1/2 hours yelling at an inanimate object televising moving pictures of the MU-KU football game.

36-28, good guys. This'll probably move us up to #2.

Holy moly, what a game. One of the best football games I've seen.

But, to quote Marty McFly, "Why do we have to cut these things so darn close?"

"A small, tiny spot"

I remember the Sunday morning very well when our friend, Marge, told us she had a "small, tiny spot" on her lung. The doctors had caught it early, she said, and their early prognosis sounded like a few treatments later and this awful, frightening word - cancer - would be but a distant memory.

A small, tiny spot.

We lost Marge Tuesday night.

Tammy and the boys got to see Marge occasionally over the past few years; it seemed like every time they could go, I was under the weather - and vice versa. In her condition, we didn't want to spread anything to her. While I'm sure that was the obvious way to go, it seems sort of wasteful in hindsight. Were I her, I would rather have seen us than heard we were ill.

But, she did see us occasionally throughout her ordeal. And, for those who aren't familiar with her situation, it was indeed an ordeal. Operations, treatments, and exams begat more of the same. She's a much stronger person than I'll ever be. I think I always knew that, but I saw it in action over the last few years.

The last time I saw her was when I was - ironically enough - at the Ambulatory (walk-in) Clinic in Hannibal, and she & Bob came in for an appointment with the lab while I was in the feeding line for antibiotics for some upper respiratory illness I had at the time. I stayed a good distance away - I'm still not sure what I had - but I had a chance to visit with her and with Bob. They were always so pleased to see us - and we them. They really treasured our boys, nearly as if they were their own. And our boys loved them. Jonathan couldn't believe it on Wednesday morning when we told him.

I looked at Tammy tonight, and while I don't doubt the wisdom of God's plan or His timing, I said, "It just hit me. These last few years were all brought on by a little spot."

I could wax philosophical about the meaning of life or ramble on about how we're just specks in God's plan, but let me cut to the chase.

I've held loved ones close this Thanksgiving. Take my advice. Do the same.

I love my wife...

Tammy just related to me that she'll always remember Brandy's mom's name. We just finished an IM conversation w/her - that's how this came up.

Brandy told Tammy her mom's name was "Geneva."

To which Tammy replied, "You mean, like the Convention?"

"Yes, Tammy...the Geneva Convention."

I love my wife.

The Next Chapter

And today, the change official, I resigned as Sunday School Director at my church.

It was quite possibly the hardest ministry decision I've had to make. And, the outpouring of support I had from my closest friends and teachers was the definition of what a church family should be. May God bless them - they have a place in our hearts they'll never fully realize.

But, all good things must come to an end, or so I've heard. Today, this was the time. I'm not going to sit here and bash or hammer home reasons responsible for my decision. However, I will say if you've read this blog at all over the last few weeks, you probably understand.

I will say this for background purposes - I had helped put together the Sunday School Plan for our church, an initiative I announced and we started back in early September. I had told a very few that evening - following the meeting - that I would see the plan through to fruition, but after the plan's completion, I was done. True to my word, the plan was enacted today, and my service is ending - I'm remaining in the position through December 16.

But, the reasons that I finally answered the call to step aside that night a couple of months ago were far from the final reasons which helped drive home my decision. It became crystal clear after events I experienced a couple of Friday afternoons ago. No need to go into sordid details, but I knew then it was time.

I've rarely experienced this sensation...deep sadness over the end of a ministry, yet a great anticipation & freedom in looking forward.

Barry Bail Bonds-man, Part II

Top 10 Christmas gifts for Barry Bonds

10. Smokes

9. Carhart jacket to wear out in "the yard"

8. The mother of all nail files for his cell bars

7. A Yankees jersey so he can get used to pinstripes

6. An old time Giants jersey so he can get used to prison orange

5. Soap on a rope

4. Housewarming gift for those visits with the Manson family

3. Conjugal visits with godfather Willie Mays

2. Exercise equipment to get in shape the old fashioned way

1. A baseball encyclopedia with a huge asterisk

Barry Bail Bonds-man

I can't claim this line - it's Tammy's:

"From San Francisco to San Quentin"

Perfect vision

I had a fairly animated conversation with a couple of people recently, and it really struck me that people want to diagnose the symptoms instead of the problems in any given situation. We seem content in treating the sneezing instead of removing the mold and allergens from the house. Continually mopping up water that drips from the ceiling instead of fixing the roof. Putting air in a tire over & over again instead of getting a replacement or patching the hole. Getting infuriated and browbeating the messenger when the root problems are the issue.

It's a crying shame more people don't see the forest for the trees.

Excuse me??

Yesterday I received an email from someone who has decided not to join our homeschool group. That's fine. As president, I hear from all sorts of people interested in homeschooling and then they decide, for whatever reason, to not join our group. Fine.

Then it got ugly.

In her email she proceeds to tell me everything wrong with our group, why we'll never succeed, and then why Hannibal is a backward place. I know. I don't know how my homeschool group suddenly became the official representative of Hannibal.

I had written her an email. I poured my heart out. I told her how I felt. I got angrier. When I read the email to Scott, he suggested I save it as a draft, walk away, and email her something else. He did suggest, however, I post it as a blog.

So here it is, the email that I can't send to this person, but I can share with all our fans out there who know it takes to a lot make me mad. Couple that with essentially suggesting that I'm ruining my children's lives and then you've got yourself an extremely mad Tammy who is itching to send this thing!!!

I read with great interest your email. I feel I need to defend our group from some comments that you have made.

**** sounds like it has many wonderful opportunities. However, they are located near a very large city and they themselves have many resources available to them that we do not have. Any classes could be offered to our group; all it takes is a parent or interested adult to step up and make the offer. We are more than happy to open our group to new classes. In the past we have had a volleyball team, basketball team, various science classes, writing classes. The only thing it takes is a willing parent to step up and make the offer.

You said that $30 covered the cost, all costs, to join, yet said that students provided their own supplies for some classes. Is that not requiring them to spend more money for a class? While we do ask parents to pay a fee for classes, this covers all books and supplies associated with the class. Just last year we recieved a grant from a Hannibal organization for art supplies. Although Hannibal, in your estimation, may not be as forward-thinking as *****, at least some in the town see the benefits of homeschooling and have even gone so far as to provide funding for top of the line art supplies so our kids have the best opportunity to let their talents soar.

Combining age groups was seriously considered. The age groups were divided as they were to accommodate class size and maturity levels. Combining four-year-olds with second graders is a daunting task and someone will either feel woefully under-challenged or extremely overwhelmed. However, if a parent wishes to put their child in an art class that better accommodates their talent, even if that class is considered "older", we welcome that.

My main frustration over your comments was that you lumped our group in with your own perception of Hannibal overall. I, for instance, am not from this area and I know many others that aren't from this area either. I don't defend Hannibal often, but this is where God has placed us for right now and for my money it's certainly better than an extremely liberal area that considers homeschooling to be a backward, ultra-conservative fad or, worse, something we need to mainstream, much like many of the classes offered within the ***** group.

I am interested in seeing how things could be better for the group; I would think anyone would welcome that for anything they're a part of. But I do ask that those making suggestions actually have been a part of the group. Looking from the outside in is much different than being a part of our group and seeing that we aren't rigid and try very hard to work with others, encourage classes, and have holiday parties and socials approxiamtely once per month. No, our group isn't perfect, but we love our children, believe in homeschooling, and are committed to doing the best we can for both.

Now, some of this was edited because I certainly don't want to offend the homeschoolers in the other group. It's not their fault this particular person has diva issues. It's so frustrating when people who are on the outside looking in think they have all the answers. That's the main reason why I don't say anything when my friends who public-school say things about their situation. I've never sent my kids to PS so what right do I have to say anything? I simply don't understand why I, and others like me, can't be afforded the same courtesy.

She was sure before she wasn't sure

Let me make this clear. This is the ONLY time you'll EVER see a John Edwards video on this blog.

But it's just too good to pass up.

Ah. I miss the Clinton years...

Color me green...comma, stupid.

Last night, NBC's "Football Night in America" started the NBC-Universal enviro-wacko week by shutting off the in-studio lights for the tail-end of the pre-game show and then the halftime and post-game shows around the Dallas-Philadelphia football game played in Philly. The network wanted to show how energy conscious and enviro-friendly they could be by shutting off the studio lights, which was "enough power to fully light a normal-sized family home for a month."

Hey - here's an idea - leave the studio lights on, and PLAY THE GAME DURING THE SUNLIT DAY. Car headlights, studios, press boxes, and luxury boxes all could be partially-lit at best. Oh, and yeah...you could SHUT OFF THE MEGA-BANKS OF STADIUM LIGHTING at Liberty Financial Field in Philly.

How much energy could that have saved?

Oh, but wait - that would've required NBC to forfeit the millions of prime-time ad dollars they received by running the game on a Sunday night...no, now that can't happen, can it?

Don't even get me started on the impartiality of the week's "educational programming"...

Change is a Comin'

Earlier this week, I wrote what some might feel is a scathing entry on my church. If anyone was offended, I apologize. It was never my intention to offend.

That doesn't mean I feel any differently or regret the comments; just didn't mean to offend.

Churches aren't perfect because they're - say it with me - run by people, the most imperfect thing God placed on this earth. Yes, we were created in His image, but He also had to go so far as to sacrifice His one and only Son in order for us to spend eternity with Him...and that's only if we're not stubborn, stupid, or crazy enough to not accept His beautiful gift of salvation. Just because we're created in His image doesn't mean all the gray matter transferred over as well. Far from it.

But just because churches aren't perfect doesn't mean we should just be accepting of the warts. What's the old definition people use for "insanity" - doing the same thing over & over again and expecting a different result? Many modern-day churches - not just mine, but many - could fall into that same definition of how our ministries are run.

Last night, I had a meeting of our Sunday School Planning Task Force - the group of teachers that were brought together to help shepherd and create a comprehensive plan for the Sunday School's development over the next five years. It was unbelievably refreshing to hear these teachers express to me the traditional type of Sunday School ideals and values that were embraced for years & years versus the more contemporary methods. Why do I like some of the traditional versus contemporary methods? I'm open to change quite often (it's hard to imagine, but seriously, I'll hear any idea out and be willing to give it a chance if it's legit and if it has support for those who'll have to be carrying it out). But some of the more contemporary ideas are based and rooted in a true lack of accountability and depth of study. They're more interested in generating numbers than they are in spiritual depth.

I'm not saying none of the new ideas have any use; quite to the contrary, some of the new ideas that are being circulated out there do have some merit. But it was so - SO - refreshing to hear that the ideas of generations past are still valued. The values I grew up with and learned during my brief time at Sunday School as a child are still there today. That's why I love being a part of Sunday School. That's why I've stayed as Superintendent through the past few years even when others have done everything but shown me the door. That's why I've been honored to spend the last decade-plus heading up what I view as THE core ministry of a church. That time won't last forever, however. But for now, this plan is my mission at my church, and at this point, it'll probably be done in a matter of days.

And for those who may already know, yes, a change is still a comin'. But first we'll finish the plan. Then we'll see some relatively dramatic changes...

"I have no aversion to eggs"

Earlier today I got my first flu shot...first ever. Longtime readers of this blog will remember last year when I lamented in great detail over my bout with the flu. Well, based upon that horror and the fact that some others I know are now getting really intimate with their toilets, I decided that maybe this year I'd take the plunge and have the doctors poke me with a sharp, metal object.

So, I headed in to the Hannibal Clinic, and they did their magic. But, they asked an odd question on the health waiver (i.e., the document whereby if they, oh, kill you, you shouldn't sue). "Do you have any adverse reactions to eggs?"

I know they have the flu vaccine formula based in some type of egg thing...I'm not a biologist, nor do I play one on tv...but it just seemed a bit odd, that's all.

Well, I went in, and Nurse Nightingale asked if I wanted it in the upper arm. I asked, "Is there another spot?" She just glared at me. I rolled up my sleeve, she poked me, and that was that. But on the way out, my left arm was really tingling, and I didn't really feel all that hot on the way to the car.

I thought, "Wow, maybe I have high cholesterol, and this has triggered something."

Then I realized, "No, you goof. You're just a hypochondriac." Finally. So good to figure things out.

Bad Moon Rising

First, let me ID myself - this is Scott.

I have a really bad attitude. Really bad.

I've contemplated putting this out there for a long time, but I've held back for an equally long time. Until now. Here goes.

I'm not really satisfied at my current church right now. I've not been led to the point of leaving yet, but I'm not really content there. I'm in church membership purgatory, if a Southern Baptist can even have legal claim to use that term.

I remember when we first visited and then joined our church back in the Fall of 1994. I loved going there Sunday mornings, Sunday nights, and Wednesday nights. I couldn't get enough of it. It lasted for years. But in recent years, with the emphases that I've seen, with the approaches to ministry that have turned into programs that have nearly turned our church into a smaller version of the YMCA, with the focus on the bottom line that's made us literally miss seeing the forest for the trees instead of focusing on ministry and spiritual growth, I just don't know what to think anymore.

I also think we're just running haphazard in many respects with our ministries. Sometimes we stick way, way too closely to the letter of the law in our ministries, but there are other times I am upset that we really throw caution to the wind and just beg for problems. There are several examples I could give to document my problems, but I just think we could handle ourselves a little better. I also have a problem with how it seems as though we last-minute most of our ministry opportunities. For example, we (apparently) waited until the VERY last minute to get our ducks in a row for a Halloween alternative to be run by our Awana ministry this year. We just got a postcard this weekend, and last week - the 24th of October - no one really had any idea what we were going to do, but for the fact that it would involve candy.

Did we not know Halloween had been scheduled for the 31st this year?

Those calendars can be tricky, I know...

Am I going to the Halloween alternative or taking our kids? Well, no. First, it's about the "Parable of the Pumpkin Patch". If I want them to know about it, I'll just read them this selection.

Second, if I have to hear one more garden analogy in that building...

Third, it's just the principle of the thing. This was a last-minute, slapped together show. I want my kids to have a nice night, not a night being ad-libbed as we go.

I had a person tell me a few weeks ago that when he was first starting in ministry years and years ago, one of his first full-time church positions required - yes, REQUIRED - him to take one weekend off a month and do something else. Go to a different church, take the weekend off, spend it in prayer at home, whatever...he was required to do something away from that church.

I think I may quickly be approaching that boiling point as well.

My postcards to the edge

Only one from me (SC)

Dear students,

Just because I told one student that I'd look at her term/research paper to see if she had the right concept doesn't mean I want to proofread 50 papers over the couple of days. Unlike you guys, I'm not 18-years old anymore, I can't get 5 hours of sleep per night (though I really try) and survive on it, I can't eat plastic anymore (chili after 9 PM is a bad idea for a plethora of reasons), and I don't have unlimited blocks of time anymore. Take some of the Clearasil money and go buy a word processing program that actually has Grammatik or Spell Check on it.

Signed,
Your bloodshot-eyed professor.

Maybe her teeth threw her off-balance?

Marie Osmond, who so gracefully took a dive the other night on "Dancing With the Stars," now claims she fainted...as a result of the California wildfires. "The air quality is really bad and I have allergies really bad so maybe that was it," she said.

Yes. That was it. You're in an air-tight, sound-tight studio in downtown Los Angeles, miles from the fires, and you're surrounded by bottled water and air purifiers, not to mention a/c units pumping more air than all the wind in Twister combined. Yes. It was the wildfires.

One more letter, from Scott

I'm going to pay for this, but I read what Tammy wrote earlier today, and I have to respond.

Dear Tammy,

When talking to our checking account (words I never thought I'd say), what exactly does "My must you mock me" mean?

"MY must you mock me?"

Interesting.

Letters to the world ...

Stealing an idea from Brandy's blog, I just had to vent a few frustrations, so here goes:

Dear Wal-Mart Customers,

It's Saturday and we're busy. The last place we want to be is Wal-Mart. Has it ever occurred to you that things could move along a lot faster if you MOVED YOUR CARTS???? And when I say excuse me, I mean get out of my way; I know what I want and where it's located. And don't tell me, "You're fine." I know I'm fine - you're the one in my way.

Signed,
Frustrated in a Wal-Mart Traffic Jam

___________________________________________

Dear English Language,

Why must you be so difficult? My son is only 8 and doesn't need the stress of the following:

which, witch
too, to, two
dew, do, due
you, ewe

I could go on, but you know the story. I know the right spellings to use, but he's only 8, for cryin' out loud. Give the kid a break (or is it brake)?

Signed,
For the Children

____________________________________________

Dear Checking Account,

My must you mock me? So full of promise and dreams at the beginning of each month, I'm almost sure we're going to be friends. And then without warning you deflate to almost nothing, making my hopes of eating dinner out tonight or getting a Tall Decaf Mocha Grande (with whipped cream) seem like a distant memory. Can't we work this out?

Signed,
Where's the Love?

_____________________________________________

And finally...

Dear Mass Merchandisers,

It's only October but I saw it coming. A Christmas bulb in July, a piece of garland in August, I knew it was a matter of time before you had to pull out all the Christmas stuff. But I'm not ready. It's too soon. This is all so sudden. I've got to be honest, we need to slow things down a bit. I'm not ready for this kind of commitment. I need some breathing space between back-to-school shopping and deck the halls. Please, all this pressure is tearing me apart.

Signed,
I Need Some Space

Friend or foe?

I was just perusing some of the news websites on the Internet tonight, and like usual, I was really taken aback by the hostility of the stories we see on the news. The days of intelligent debate over issues is gone. It's a 15 to 30 second sound byte mentality and that's usually interspersed with vitriolic language used in the name of compassion and/or standing up for your fellow man. Either that or we're spoon-fed the latest prison abuse video or something like that that's supposed to pass nowadays for news.

In that very moment, I came to a conclusion.

I'm a bad, bad man.

Not like Shaft (watch your mouth!), but really like a bad man.

My Christian faith prevails, obviously. But that still doesn't change the fact that I'm a bad, bad man.

I will engage in self-depricating humor probably quicker than anyone on the planet - I figure I need to make fun of myself because 1) it loosens people up, 2) if you had this kind of ammo to work with 24/7, you'd make fun of yourself, too, and probably the most problematic reason, 3) I poke fun at so many others as well.

Is it good natured? I hope so. Do I cross the line occasionally? Absolutely. Do I know that? Yes. Am I ashamed at some of the lines that creep out of my mouth? Unfortunately, yes.

What really brought this to light was the other night on a phone call between Tammy, a mutual friend of ours, and me, I let slip a comment that wasn't necessarily untrue, but just didn't need to be said. Wasn't necessary, but it just popped out. That just fell into a long line of times I've said things and thought, "Wow, that was REALLY out of bounds and over the line." It really made me stop and think about my attitude, fun loving as it may be more times than not, it also can get the best of me.

It also made me think how patient Jesus is to work with a sinner like me. His love - quite obviously - has no bounds. I'm living proof.

The Ultimate Mom's Song

This is an amazing video. Even if you're not a mom, it's still hilarious.

My body doubles

One month later - to the day - I'm posting again, but this time with a fun little ditty from another blog. To quote my dear friend Brandy, I'm stealing blogs again.

I found this little link from our friends, the Billups, on finding your celebrity look alikes. Looked interesting enough, so I gave it a shot. Here's who I found were my lookalikes:



I'll suggest this to Tammy so she can upload a more recent photo of herself and see her lookalikes.

Think this is accurate? I like the Pierce Brosnan deal...I can live with that...

Profile in Courage?

Recently, over on Brandy's blog, she posted a link to help determine what famous leader you're similar to in nature. The first time I took the test, I (Scott) took the 19-question option, and here's what it came up with:

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Then, the second time, I took the entire 45-question blow-out. This is what I came up with:

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Which one am I? Let me know what you think.

And, by the way, I'm sure that I don't have to highlight for you the similarities between JFK and Gandhi.

Two words: Babe Magnets.

Two more words: Snappy dressers.

Still "The Natural"

I just read several national media articles on the popular knee-jerk reaction to Rick Ankiel's alleged use of HGH back in 2004.

First, let me say I am an admitted HUGE fan of Ankiel, dating from his days as a pitcher back in the Cards' minor league system. That was pre-pitching implosion. I've watched and rooted for him ever since, and his story is the thing storybooks are written for.

Also, for background's sake, Ankiel had recently undergone elbow ligament replacement (Tommy John) surgery in 2004 and was in recovery that - while I'm not a doctor and don't play one on tv - could have been helped along through the prescribed AND LEGAL use of HGH. It would've produced collagen to help strengthen and aid the ligament's development.

Don't forget - HGH was not a banned substance by MLB at the time. It was just as legal as Gatorade...obviously, ridiculously stupid to use without a valid prescription or without a medical necessity, but legal nonetheless.

So, it would appear the majority of the national sports media are quickly convening a lynch mob for a guy who - in reality - hasn't yet even been accused of committing a crime? Will baseball's so-called "steroid era" also be viewed as the "media jumping through hoops to get to conclusions" era?

As I've said to anyone who's interested, I absolutely believe Barry Bonds probably has used every legal and illegal substance short of cow manure to help enhance his athletic ability. He'd take battery acid straight into his veins if he thought it'd help him hit and be "bigger than life", or at least bigger than Hank Aaron. His head didn't expand to two sizes larger than a canned ham by accident. Ankiel's size hasn't changed, he's always been an amazing hitter (people originally thought he should've been pushed into everyday status when he was first drafted), and he's got large holes in his swing that - should they go uncorrected and become victims to pitchers' exploitations - could bring him back down to earth quite quickly.

For the national media to compare him to Mark McGwire (who I used to believe was falsely accused, but I then changed my mind completely following his congressional testimony) & Bonds right now is a little ridiculous, don't you think? Shouldn't the media give Rick a chance to, oh, I don't know...comment?

Don't eat the daisies, er, raisins

It had to happen someday.

Last night, Scott was carrying dishes from the downstairs to the kitchen when I noticed an empty bowl in his hand.

"Where are the grapes that were in the bowl?"

Scott replied, "I ate them. I thought the kids had left them downstairs and I ate them."

Now, for those of you that don't know, we homeschool. David has been studying the sun (as much as you can when you're in Kindergarten). And so we've been talking about how the sun helps us do all kinds of things, like dry grapes out to make raisins - that is until Daddy ate them.

I knew one of these days a science experiment would get eaten, thrown away, or lost in the house. I'm just glad Scott didn't eat them after they had "turned" into raisins. My teacher's manual was very clear - do not eat the grapes/raisins. They were dried under unsanitary conditions!!

So far Scott looks fine and nothing is growing out of his head. Maybe we dodged this bullet - whew!

Back to the vacation blogs...

The hills in the background are actually an optical illusion; Hays is a wasteland of humanity. I'm sure some lemonheaded freak of nature who has "I'm a Hick from Hays" or "Kall me a Kansan" will probably do a Google search someday, find this blog, and leave some nasty, badly misspelled comment referencing chew or the love his wife & sister (same person) has for the town, but let me assure you, this place is an absolute wasteland.

The day we left Colorado Springs and I picked up my Michael English book, we trekked back across Eastern Colorado through Limon (COMPLETELY missing that gas station THIS time around) and were headed back to the Holiday Inn (and this one was not a "Stay Smart; Stay Holiday Inn Express" site, let me assure you) with the two-story water slide (they bill it as three stories tall, but unlike most of the people in Hays, I can count) we'd stayed at on the way out.

We were, well, let's say unimpressed with this Holiday Inn on our way to Colorado. It was an old Holidome type of hotel that was built probably in the late 60s or early 70s...with probably no updates since then, either.

Well, the a/c didn't work in all the rooms (we had to change rooms once on the way out b/c of the malfunctions), and I found a few dead bugs strewn throughout the hotel...but the kicker was that the in-room a/c unit that actually did work in our second room had the wires and the plastic connectors dangling down from under the motor.

Nice. Last time I pre-book a hotel like that - I don't care WHAT the discount is.

So, while the people there were really nice, Tammy & I decided when we left and headed for Colorado Springs on Monday that - even though the kids thought the 2 story water slide was just the berries - if there was ANYTHING wrong with that hotel when we came back through, we were getting our money back and going elsewhere.

We got our wish.

When we left on Monday to go to Brandy's on the way out, there was a note on the front desk saying the water slide, pool, & hot tubs would be closed for cleaning. We came into town on Thursday, and sure enough, the same note was there.

Who didn't see that coming?

Once we confirmed it, we got out of that rathole and went down the street to the newly built Hampton Inn. As always, I asked my budget nazi & resident Dave Ramsey guru Tammy to go in and ask for a price...and sure enough, she got it for like 10-20 bucks off of the normal rate.

Again, who didn't see that coming?

We ate, had a great night in the pool and room, and got out of dodge the next morning. Wonderful breakfast...on vacation, I'm all about the hot breakfasts...

The Hampton Inn and a few other places are good there...just don't go south of the overpass to the majority of the town. It's ugly...really ugly...down there... but I hear there's a catch-all type of approach they're looking to apply to improve the town's appeal, at least south of the I-70 exit.

It'll really be a huge improvement.

I need you!

I've typed on here many times before that I'm covering the more comedic, quick-hit type of reports from our vacation, but I'm going to leave Tammy in charge of hitting the "shock & awe" moments of heading into Colorado Springs, going through the Rockies west of Denver, etc...in fact, I sort of wanted to wait on her to do that until I wrote any more and until I made some overall changes to our blog.

But, as you can probably see, she's not done that.

I've begged, pleaded...I've even offered money.

No dice.

So, I'm enlisting your help. If you're one of the 4.5 people who actually read this thing, take the time right now to flood this entry's comments section or our inbox with pleas that she take 5 minutes of her time to do an entry sometime before Thanksgiving of 2009. It'd be greatly appreciated.

Remember, the blogging you encourage can spur your own.

At rest...

OK, perhaps I should clarify my most recent post...

Those who haven't known me for long - and they've seen my poundage and relative lack of hair, as well as my contacts instead of glasses most days - don't think the photo I borrowed from a friend of a friend's blog for my most previous post looks at all like me...

However, for those who have known me for some time and know that looks reasonably like me, let me clarify - it was NOT me; it's a borrowed photo, and I was only kidding about Tammy snapping that photo - that's why I put the "thanks to Brandy's friend, Scott..." below the photo, but perhaps I wasn't clear.

So, just to clarify...right now...calm as a day in the mountains, cool as a cucumber...

You can pick your nose, but you can't pick family

More vacation blogs later, but first, Tammy snapped this quick photo after I got off the phone with Mom earlier tonight...

Thanks to Brandy's friend, who also just happens to be named Scott, for the remotely close likeness physically and the uncanny likeness mentally.

Redemption

When we awoke after our trip to San Antonio's SuperTarget ;) the night before, we got ready, packed, and headed to Panera Bread for breakfast with our hostess with the mostest, Miss Brandy. After getting a family photo in front of Pike's Peak (we'll post later) and saying our goodbyes, we headed over to...Focus on the Family. I just felt an absolute calling to get Michael English's new book The Prodigal Comes Home, and I'd seen it a couple of days earlier in the FOTF bookstore.

What a great, great read. If you're looking for an absolutely honest Christian autobiography that is written with warts and all, you need this book. It is a textbook definition of a life redeemed solely through Christ. I'll take time at some point in the future to talk in more detail about this book and the lynching Christian Contemporary Music circles launched against Michael back in 1994, but that's another blog. Let me just say, though, we left on Thursday morning, I did all the driving, but yet by Monday afternoon I'd finished this 200-plus page book. Awesome read.

Can you tell I've always been a fan of his? Talk about a voice that just doesn't, won't, and hasn't quit.

For now, though, let me leave you with this clip - it's not dubbed from my DVD, but it's a YouTube clip of Michael's performance closing out last year's ('06) Gaither Canadian Homecoming concert in Toronto. Quite frankly, if this doesn't reach out, grab you, and move you, you, my friend, are comatose or dead.



More vacation in the next post...on to Hays, KS.

Behind the Music: Brandy McNally

I've taken a lot - a LOT - of shots at Brandy Campbell, our host for the time we were in Colorado Springs. Now, she lists on her website that these shots weren't completely truthful (a notion which I summarily dismiss); however, that not withstanding, I wanted to take a few moments to talk a little about her, how important she is to us, and how her leaving really left a void.

When we headed to and left Colorado Springs, our boys commonly referred to "Brandy and Sabrina" as though they were a single person. Brandy and Sabrina (Price) used to fit right in at our house; one might've thought they could've been charged rent...especially toward the last couple of years Brandy was in town, Sabrina was around a lot more, and they were roommates.

Tammy and I have always been, are now, and probably always will be very social people. We like spending time with our kids and each other, but we also like spending time with other people, too - playing cards, playing games, watching television, or just talking - that's fun for us like nobody's business. It doesn't have to involve money...in fact, with the new emphasis we've taken on becoming debt-free, we'd prefer it not include a huge outlay o'funding. We want to spend time with people that we call and people that call us - it's a two-way street.

On a side note, since Brandy left and Sabrina is on the road a lot with her ministry, that list of drop-of-a-hat fun friends has dried up somewhat. Don't get me wrong - we have great, great friends in Hannibal...but just not too many who probably welcome us calling at any given time and saying, "Hey - get over here and let's do something fun, even if it's watching paint dry...if you're here, we'll find a way to make it fun." We've - or who's kidding who - I've probably been the cause of a lot of answering machine purchases in this region! People probably don't mind hanging around Tammy, but I'm pretty certain they're probably not big fans of me hanging around too often.

You don't realize how good of a friend you have until he or she is gone. We both still feel that void today...most noticeably on Friday or Saturday nights when we're sitting at home. But enough self-pity...

Many times, when I find an opening, I kid good friends unmercifully. And if you've read this blog over the last few days, you know Brandy's been square in my sights. But, I hope she knows how deeply she's loved by this family and how deeply she's missed on a continual basis. We're so proud of the ministry and the huge steps of faith she took in moving to Colorado Springs to start a brand new chapter of her life, and we've seen first-hand God moving dramatically in her life to take her to a level of servanthood she probably didn't even know existed. I can guarantee I'm not anywhere near that level. It's amazing to watch someone who is.

She's traveled around the country and around the globe on mission trips - not because it's her job (though in this most recent case it was), but because she wants to and feels God is calling her to go and share. Let me put this into perspective - she's one of millions around this world who feels God's purpose clearly and completely and is answering it with all her being. But we know her; she's just like family. So, I wanted to make sure to set the record straight - though I wouldn't trust her directions to cross the street, I completely and totally trust in the direction she's receiving and following in her life. We can all be so blessed to have that kind of clarity and opportunity.

Back to the Future

I also toyed with titling this entry "Scott, his pet boy Sherman, and the WayBack machine," but I was woefully afraid no one would know what the heck I was talking about.

On the Wednesday of our trip to Colorado, we awoke to head north to Denver and parts west - shortly after securing a one-day fishing license for yours truly (the boys fished for free in the great state of Colorado).

I've detailed before that I hadn't been to Colorado in nearly 20 years, and Tammy & the kids hadn't ever been there before this trip. This is where this point comes in handy...I was lucky as a kid - we were able to head to California nearly every year for like 5-6 straight years (and then another 4-5 straight years after that following a couple of years break). Every year, we'd drive through Colorado and head west on scenic Highway 6 between Golden and Idaho Springs, and we'd pull off on the side of the road next to Clear Creek and let me fish, throw rocks, etc.

This year, we headed north from Colorado Springs and got into Denver, driving past Mile High/Invesco Field, Coors Field, and Six Flags over Denver before exiting onto I-70 and subsequently Highway 6. I'll let Tammy write another time about the scenic beauty of literally driving through and at the base of the Rocky Mountains, but I'll write about this part - sure enough, about 10 miles into our Highway 6 trip, we ran across the same pull-off I used to stop at two decades ago. What a true treat to spend time with my wife and kids at the same spot I was able to have so many special moments as a child. It was just awesome.

Then later, we headed out I-70, windows still down, moonroof open, and breathing in all of that fresh, 70-degree cedar and pine air and went through tunnels and over mountains. A real treat for the kids was going thru the Eisenhower Tunnel just west of Georgetown and east of Dillon. It takes nearly 2 minutes to go through this tunnel at 60mph, to give you a handle on how big this thing is (if you've never traveled through it yourself).

Once we returned to Colorado Springs, we met up with Ms. Brandy, and after the boys had a brief dip in the pool (on a relatively cool evening, though the pool was heated with the overflow from the outdoor hot tub), we headed to a guided (by Brandy, of course) tour through Compassion International. Brandy, of course, is a staff writer for this great organization that does so much with so little. Tammy and I are prayerfully considering sponsoring a child in the organization. Brandy does a tremendous job for them, and we're proud of her work there.

But, then Brandy had to get us somewhere else in Colorado Springs. And, again, here's where Brandy McNally came up aces.

Tammy told Brandy she would like to go to a Target to stock back up on lunch meat, snacks, etc for lunches & snacks on the drive home. So, Brandy, being the great hostess she can be (did I mention she gave us great welcoming gifts when we arrived - welcoming gifts, friends...welcoming gifts!), she directed us from Compassion to the nearest Target store. We were all talking on the cell phone with Sabrina during the trip, and we ended up having a very detailed conversation with Ms. Price. This is because our SuperTarget we were shopping at was located in Tuscon.

Seriously, it was in Colorado Springs, but like, oh, 50-60 minutes away. Seriously - I had digested my meal already once we had arrived at Target.

OK. Anyway, we get to Target...oh, sorry - SuperTarget - at around 9:45. We're no sooner in the store - which assumedly was open 24 hours - when I hear, "Attention, SuperTarget shoppers: we will be closing in 15 minutes. Please complete any shopping and bring all items to the store front for transactions at this time."

WE JUST GOT THERE. I ran up to Tammy, Brandy, and David (Jonathan & I had just visited the SuperMen'sRoom) and said, "Did you guys hear that? They're closing in 15 minutes."

They were knee-deep in a quick-to-end conversation with Sabrina, so they hadn't heard.

And, our shopping spree began. Ever seen one of those old Laverne & Shirley shows where they've won a shopping spree & are running around the store? That would be us. Again, I'll leave the details for Tammy to write regarding her take on the deal, but the workers there were less than kind, to say the least.

Anyway, and that's how that day went. On to the departure tomorrow. But first...

Focus on our Family

Once we got back to Colorado Springs, our hostess, Miss Brandy, was kind enough to bow out of the office for a few hours to guide us...uhm...guide us around Colorado Springs and the surrounding area.

First, we headed to Dr. James Dobson's Focus on the Family headquarters just down the road from the Campbell homestead. That's a phenomenal facility with a great kids' area - a three-story slide and all, and it's all focused (no pun intended) on the "Adventures in Oddessy" series put out by FOTF. It's even got "At Wit's End" ice cream shop - and the ice cream is absolutely great. The boys ran all over that place, and Tammy & Brandy headed down the three-story slide once. Grunts and all, I headed down it twice. Sort of bad that every time an adult emerges from the slide, you get all kinds of looks from those parents at the bottom waiting for their kids to emerge...

Anyway, once we left there, we headed to the Garden of the Gods mountain rockscape area. Again, it was just an absolutely phenomenal site - the rocks jutting up out of the ground to unimaginable heights, all at the foot of Pike's Peak. Just amazing to see...

...and see it we did. Brandy, aka Cortez, led us on our trek through the rock gardens, and I believe we perhaps ended up in Pueblo, possibly Phoenix, or maybe even Albequerque. I'm not quite sure. I do know, though, that we did not end up where we thought we were going. You know you're in trouble when - after hearing "Oh, shoot. I've been here before lots of times. This is a great area. I know exactly where I'm going", you hear, "Wait...uhm...what did that sign say over there? Well, that's not right...hmmm..."

I fully expected us to end up as mountain lion fillet later that night.

Thankfully, Columbus finally figured out how to sail the ocean blue, and we at least made it back to our CRV. Later, she got turned around the right way, and though Jonathan was just wasted walking-wise, Tammy, Brandy, and David headed up to the "Siamese Twins" area of the park to take a few photos at a great vantage point of Pike's Peak.

The entire time they were gone, I was praying for their safe return. I mean, they each were apparently newcomers to the region...

Anyway, once that was done, we headed to Ted's Montana Grill for Bison Burgers.

Oh my heavens. Now THAT'S eating. Chad Ford introduced me earlier this year to Buffalo Wild Wings, but I'm telling you, Ted's is an instant favorite, too. If they were across the street from one another, I'd have to flip a coin. Amazing food. Just amazing.

Next up, our trip through Denver and my trip back in time...

Gouged at the Gorge

Back to the vacation blogs...

Tuesday morning - July 17 - we awoke to head southwest to Canon City and the Royal Gorge area. It's just beautiful through that area; we turned on the CD we bought from DisneyWorld a couple of years ago with music from the ride "Soarin'" on it. It's just a majestic soundtrack, and I (scott) am such a dweeb.

Anyway, it was great fun rolling through the mountains on the scenic trip down through the Rockies. Tammy, about halfway down to the Royal Gorge, announced she didn't know we were in the Rocky Mountains. Again, much like our hostess with the mostest, geography's not her strong point.

So, we finally got down to the Royal Gorge about an hour later, and we came upon this little quasi-amusement park about a 1/3 to 1/2 mile back from the bridge over the Royal Gorge. The road just sort of stopped at a toll-gate kind of entrance.

Long story short, without going into too much detail, you couldn't even go near the bridge, more or less go across it, without paying an ADMISSION (read: not a toll, but ADMISSION) fee to this little park. The highlights of this park? A carousel, a skyswing ride (not included in the price of your admission), a tram ride over the gorge, a petting zoo, and about 493 gift shops. I don't know if they knew it, but I came to the Gorge to see it and drive over it, not to pet a flippin' goat.

So, I asked this gatekeeper what the admission price was to drive over & back. "$23 per adult, $19 per child". I'm sorry, no, you misunderstood me. I'm not wanting the admission prices to Epcot; I wanted to know how to get into the Gorge park & bridge thingie.

"$23 per adult, $19 per child."

Sweet heavenly lord.

Tammy, aka budget nazi of the midwest, informed me she didn't bring enough of our allocated funds to the park. So, I debited the sucker. Man, that hurt. Anyway, $84 later (unbelievable), we were headed over the Gorge. For those of you who know me really well, you know I'm very scared of heights. So, I was finally able to look over this wooden-slatted bridge bottom (and THAT'S comforting) by the time we came back over.

I'll be hard pressed to ever admit that it was worth $84, but the view was absolutely amazing. Just breathtaking.

One last thing in this entry...that skyswing thing - who in the WORLD would ever engage in this is beyond me. Just unreal. You essentially were put tandem (one on top of the other) in a harness and bungeed out over the Gorge.

No...why don't you just kill me? There's NO WAY I could ever do anything like that. You'd have to kill me first and then shoot my dead body out over the Gorge.

For those who are willing to make that happen, you'll have to stand in line...:)

Next - our visit to Dr. Dobson's City on a Hill, and more fun with the Happy Wanderer.

Stop the presses!

Okay, I just had to take a break from the Callicott Vacation entries to let you all know about a miracle. Trust me, you will not believe this one.

Our house payment went down.

I know, you're in shock. Imagine my own shock when I went to our mortgage company web site and discovered that we will be saving about $6 each month on our house payment.

Let the vacation blogs continue.

Desperately seeking Academy Street

Well, with Limon behind us (and I use the word "behind" very loosely…), we now headed into the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. I don't care if you haven't been there before, you haven't been in 20 years, or you haven't been in 50 years. God's wonder never ceases to amaze and leave you awestruck. So it was with the Rockies as we headed into Colorado Springs.

Shortly after leaving Limon, I told Tammy and the boys that they could start playing the "Find the Mountains" game, as it wouldn't be long before they could be seen on the far western horizon. Well, Tammy and the boys started to point to small little hills that might be big for Missouri, but t'weren't nothing for Colorado.

Finally, on the horizon, not only did the Rockies appear, but so did the hulk of a mountain called Pike's Peak. Amazing. Just breathtaking.

We arrived in town and were just amazed - 91 degrees and virtually no humidity. So cool.

Brandy has an amazing apartment complex. Guess that's where the uptown writers get to stay. We said our hellos to our esteemed hostess, and then after a quick trip down the street to the park to (hopefully) let the boys run off some energy, we headed downtown to Fargo's Pizza, a very cute 2-story pizza place made out to look like a real, true-to-life saloon. Awesome.

Well, here's where the fun comes in. And remember, for an alternative view, please go to Brandy's blog for more. However, we took some regular city streets (i.e., no interstate) down to the restaurant, getting to see some of the sights along the way - the Focus on the Family HQ, the U.S. Olympic Training Complex, etc. After supper, Brandy guided us home via a different direction - back on the Interstate. It'd be a little quicker and give us a different view of the city.

Uhm…or so we thought.

Shortly after we got to the Interstate, we saw it was backed up BIG TIME. Tammy suggested perhaps it was because of a Rockies' game. Once I told her that could be the case, except for the fact that they were out of town…and that they play their home games 75 miles north in Denver…she believed perhaps it might be construction work or an accident. Good call.

Well, I decided not to get on the Interstate - we'd still be there if we had gotten on the highway - and I asked Brandy how to get back to her apartment other than the Interstate. To which, I was met with…well, let's just say this is when I started calling our good, good friend names like "Magellan" and "Brandy McNally". I don't know how many twists & turns we took, but I believe I got gas in Pueblo later that evening, followed by a wash & wax in Glenwood Springs. Perhaps Vail, actually. ;)

To Cortez's defense, it could've been worse…but then came the next day…

Limon

OK, for those with a squeamish stomach, just skip over this entry. Wait for my next one on first getting into the Colorado Springs area and meeting back up with the walking roadmap that is Brandy Campbell.

On day 3 - Monday the 16th, for those who are at home plotting our trip along a calendar and map...and you know who you are - we headed west from Hays into Colorado. Wow. There are deserts, and then there are places that should be deserts. Western Kansas and Eastern Colorado fit into the latter description.

As we got into Limon, Colorado, nature called, and as we pulled off onto Highway 24 for the final 70+ miles into Colorado Springs, I ran us all into a gas station/quick stop for a final stop before the Rockies.

Oh wow.

You know you're in for a story when you walk into what appears to be a very, very clean gas station and quick shop...and there's a long line formed outside of the men's room. Tammy and David took a quick trip into the women's bathroom, but only after hearing a mom (there either wasn't a dad or he wasn't along for the trip) absolutely tear into her kids for apparently misbehaving, not going fast enough, etc - you get the drill.

Well, she and her kids left the women's restroom - "It's been a really long trip," the mom said (we later found out she had a Colorado license...try MY trip, honey - try KANSAS on for size!) - but sonny boy - probably about 6 years old, if our eyes didn't deceive us - was still in the men's room.

Then, when he finally heard her and her small traveling troupe of children emerge from their circus in the women's restroom, we heard eight words that really should've just made us turn around and leave. In a whimpered tone from the men's room, we heard:

"Mom, I need some help with my poop."

Two men in front of us immediately turned on a dime and left.

Jonathan and I, however...not so much.

But, Jonathan did poke my hand and summon me to his level. "Something really stinks," he said. "Oh, it's nothing," I said, unable to smell the horror that my eyes would soon see and nose would soon smell.

Finally, junior left the men's room while walking sheepishly toward his mother. She grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and out they went.

A gentlemen in front of us went into the men's room, and he was in there for, oh, maybe 12 seconds. "Finally," I thought. "Relief is soon in sight."

As soon as he left, in went Jonathan and me, headed for sweet relief just before hitting the Rockies. And then...

Oh my sweet lord...

I immediately and instinctively reached for my BlackBerry to call FEMA. However, having left it in Hannibal to completely get away from my job for a few days, I had no recourse. Face it alone - what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

Or nauseated.

Jonathan and I walked in and were hit with a landfill stench almost immediately. On the floor, on the wall, on the toilet, in the trash can...virtually everywhere but in the toilet, was...well, use your imagination. What do you think was everywhere - cranberry juice?

Wow. It was as though a diaper disposal service wrecked their truck on the interstate.

Jonathan couldn't wait. So, I led him on a serpentine approach to the toilet, and when he was done, I pretty much carried him to the door and walked out. We bought a soda or two from the otherwise spic and span store, and on the way out, we told the two attendants - two very sweet ladies who unfortunately looked as though they were local chairs of the Foster Grandparent recruitment program - that the men's room was, well, the apparent victim of a bowel exorcism.

"Well, great," the cashier said. "We just cleaned that. Norma!" Norma dejectedly started her long walk to her punishment.

Now, I had two problems. Of course, the first was to head across the street to Wendy's before I personally was the victim of a diaper disposal crash. The second - and more challenging - problem was to get past Poop-Boy's mom, who was having an absolute meltdown outside of her minivan parked NEXT to our CRV.

She apparently had found out little junior's secret - he had a "poop problem," as he so accurately and succinctly described it - and the problem had now apparently spread to clothes, etc. All righty, then.

She was slapping clothes on the floor, throwing bags & suitcases around, yelling words that really didn't exist in the English language - it wasn't any kind of cursing, just unintelligible words - and then throwing around even more suitcases, bags, and other items throughout the van. For any number of different reasons, I'd have hated to have been junior in that car.

We ran across the street, and I set land speed records running into Wendy's. Finally, on my slow walk back to the CRV, I looked across the street to the gas station where we'd first stopped.

As we drove past the station and toward Colorado Springs, I saw that mom STILL slamming things around, slamming the door, and finally getting into the van's driver's seat to drive home. For that kid's sake, I hoped it would be a short trip.

Stay tuned. Our arrival into Colorado Springs and our reunion with Brandy "Mapquest" Campbell is coming up next...

Kansas = Hades

OK, this is Tammy...

As we left on Sunday morning, the eastern part of Kansas wasn't too bad. And then you head west...

And now I know why people KEPT going west. They didn't stop. They kept going.

While Scott was driving through Kansas, I was able to read 10 magazines. TEN. The boys watched 4 - FOUR - movies. And we were begging for tornadoes. Anything to break the monotony.

The only breaks to our day were the Eisenhower Museum in Abilene - which was really nice - and the Sternberg Museum in Hays. I was frustrated with Sternberg because I felt like I had just made a $20 donation to the evolutionists' fund.

The Sternberg Museum was in Hays, which - little known fact - was the site of the final casting call for the movie "Deliverance". True - absolutely true.

Once we left Hays on Monday morning, we went to Oakley to "Prairie Dog Town". How do I describe PDT? If you're curious what 20 rattlesnakes sound like or what a 6-legged cow looks like, or even how goats can live with turkeys, you've come to the right place. Very nice people, though.

After leaving PDT, we found a place in Colby (KS) called the "Travel Oasis" with fake palm trees and everything. We let the kids play there a while, and then we made the rest of the trip to Colorado. Perhaps Scott will share in the future his thoughts about Limon, Colorado.

Unfortunately, the eastern part of Colorado looks like the western part of Kansas. I was sure God was playing a cruel, cruel joke. Or that Scott was lost. Neither was true. We eventually made it to scenic Colorado, where we played the, "OK, is THAT a mountain?" game. I learned real quick that what I thought were mountains was nothing compared to the real thing.

Stay tuned for more about our vacation...

Rock on!

It's official - we're back from the great western wilderness known as the Colorado Rocky Mountains. 2000-plus miles later, we're back in hot & humid Hannibal. But what a week.

I've (Scott) been to Colorado before, though it's been nearly 20 years since my last trip west. Tammy and the boys, however, haven't ever been any further west than Kansas City, sans a plane trip Tammy took 14 years ago to her friend's wedding in Phoenix. What an amazing trip. Like Tammy said, we'll be wall-to-wall over the next few days on coverage of our little journey, but for now, I'll start the first day…

We left early on the afternoon of Saturday the 21st and stopped for lunch in Kingdom City at the visitor's center/firefighters' memorial at the intersection of Highway 54 & I-70. My little budget nazi (Tammy) packed lunch food in a cooler for us to use all the way out & back again (we loaded up on food again for the return trip when we left Colorado Springs) so we could save a little coin wherever possible. Plus, it was quick and gave us a little chance to see some things we might not ordinarily have seen - like the firefighters' memorial and the visitor's center at Kingdom City.

If you've never been in that place, drop in next time you're headed to Columbia or Jeff City. They've got huge Lego renditions of Faurot Field and Mizzou Arena that are just phenomenal to view. Amazing.

From there, we headed west thru Columbia and to Kansas City, Kansas. If you've never been to the Legends shopping & lodging area - adjacent to the Kansas Speedway area - you've got to go. We didn't stay at the Great Wolf Lodge because, well, we'd like to eat for the next few years, and we hope our kids go to something other than a correspondence college. But, we stayed at the Holiday Inn Express, and after checking in, we went to the Dino restaurant and watched as Jonathan & David each built their own Dinosaurs: Jonathan built Tom Rex, and David built David Tops. Fantastic.

That's day one. Day two - which I'll leave to Tammy, as she'll express her thoughts of her initial visit through the land known as Kansas - is on the way soon.

BTW, at some point in the relatively near future, we'll start giving our point of view on our actual time in Colorado (Day 3 - Day 5). For an opposing view, please don't hesitate to visit Brandy's blog.

You'll understand why soon, won't they, Brandy McNally :)

Vacation

We just returned from our vacation and it was so wonderful! We drove to Colorado and stayed with a good friend of ours, who was gracious enough to let us invade her home.

There's nothing like doing your Bible study in the morning while having Pike's Peak as your scenery.

We'll post more about our vacation in later days, but just wanted to let our reader(s) know that we had a wonderful time and Tammy is ready to move there!!

And a child shall lead ...

The other day we're sitting at Sonic, enjoying lunch and waiting for our car to be serviced next door, when Scott and I start talking about a particular political figure. Scott was saying that this particular person probably wouldn't be welcome at many political events for the next election cycle because he's viewed as mean and unapproachable.

Our astute 7 1/2-year-old looks at Scott and says, "People haven't even met him and they don't like him? Why?"

Scott responded that people sometimes judge others based on what they hear from other people.

To that Jonathan responded, "How can you judge someone until you've met them?"

Good question, Jonathan.

Peace, please

I have had the wonderful joy of being involved in a Bible study the last few weeks on the fruits of the Spirit. It's a Beth Moore study and if you know anything about Beth, you know that this study is very thought provoking.

Now, over the last several months I've had this nagging feeling that I'm doing too much in my life right now. I feel constantly tired, frazzled, burned out and sometimes just want to pull the covers over my head and call it a day. I'm sometimes a little more testy with the kids than I want to be and if I check the calendar, it's because there's a big project coming up that needs my attention.

The Lord has been quietly, gently leading me for some time to give up some things in my life, I just haven't known what they are. I thought at first it was my job. I was ready to totally give it up in August of this year. Right around the time I had made this decision, I got a raise. No joke. And instead of being happy I had a raise I was mad. Why did I get a raise now when I am planning on quitting my job?

Well other things have happened around the homestead that lead me to the distinct impression quitting is not in the cards for the moment. I won't bore you with the details, just trust me on this one.

So I start this study really wanting to feel God's leading in all areas of my life. I do the totally Christian thing and turn it all over - whatever your will, Lord, I'll do it.

So the first week of the study goes by and I feel a prodding to give up this ministry I'm a part of at church. I must have crossed my righteous wires, God doesn't want me to give up a ministry. It's my job, right Lord? You want me to quit my job, right?

A few weeks go by and we're talking about joy. You know one of the things that can rob joy? According to Beth, it's "when our outpour exceeds our intake." And she flat out asks the question, "Are you serving more than you're seeking?" Ouch.

Like all churches, I'm sure, we have a hard time finding people to fill spots at our church. So my hesitation here is on a number of levels. I'm worried that they won't be able to find someone to fill this spot. And I have a hard time giving up things when I'm in the middle of it because I've been taught to see things through to the end. But what if the thing that you're doing has no end? What if it keeps going and going?

And my biggest problem lies in this: What if they come back and ask me to do it after they've exhausted all their resources? I don't want to let them down. I don't want to be the last, best hope and then say no.

As you can see, I have a Martha complex. People probably view me as someone who's kind of say-it-like-it-is and you'll get over it. But I'm desperately afraid of doing less than perfect. And I'm desperately concerned if I give up something it will be done less than perfect.

This week we're studying peace, the third fruit, and it's the first day of this week's study and the Lord has moved from gentle, quiet prodding to the proverbial hammer on the head - my head - approach.

This weekend my mom and aunt were discussing how I do too much. Mom said that I'm taking away someone else's opportunity to serve by hoarding it all for myself. I honestly hope that's not how it's viewed by others, but she really made me think. And Scott has also suggested in the past that I give something up.

So, this week I need to pick up the phone and resign from this position. I pray I have no guilt over this decision and I can study the third fruit without this restlessness.

Please pass the peace, I'd like a double helping!