Top 10 Christmas gifts for Barry Bonds
10. Smokes
9. Carhart jacket to wear out in "the yard"
8. The mother of all nail files for his cell bars
7. A Yankees jersey so he can get used to pinstripes
6. An old time Giants jersey so he can get used to prison orange
5. Soap on a rope
4. Housewarming gift for those visits with the Manson family
3. Conjugal visits with godfather Willie Mays
2. Exercise equipment to get in shape the old fashioned way
1. A baseball encyclopedia with a huge asterisk
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