Pet Peeves

People, where are my manners? We haven't posted in a while...

Let me ease back into the swing of things here...

First, for those who are blogging or leaving comments on discussion boards, please let me implore you...it's "would have" or "would've", not "would of".

What kind of a mental chipmunk ever taught you the proper use of the written phrase was "would of"? Those two words don't even go together. I know that's how it's pronounced, but have you ever looked at Brett Favre's last name? Say it with me...FAV-RAY. Now, say it like it's pronounced: FARV. Yeah, ok. Some things are different in print.

Quickly, before I move on in my hit parade...Brett, you're what, 65 years old now? You've done this stupid little "gee, should I retire or not?" dance for the last 5-6 years in the offseason, you finally pull the trigger this year, and then when you up & decide you want to come back, after the Packers drafted another QB to back up Aaron Rodgers this fall and base their entire marketing emphasis this year on the fact that you're sitting at home in Baton Route or Tuscaloosa or Bugaloosa or wherever in the heck you live down south, you're surprised they're less-than-excited to hear you wanna come to training camp? Really? No, really? Because I'm not even affiliated with the Packers - or the NFL, in fact - and yet I had an idea they'd be miffed. You're really shocked? Really? Wow.

OK. Second, for my fine friends who work the window and 18th-century speaker system at Wendy's, could I please ask you to not interrupt me when I'm giving my order? Please let me finish, and all questions probably will be answered by the time I say, "And that's all." If not, please ask your questions then. This is true for our friends at Burger King as well, but I won't criticize them until they get out of their bath in the kitchen tub.

Finally, to our friends at Sonic. Look. All I'm ordering is a Route 44 coke, easy ice. That's it. I'm not ordering 45 BLTs or something. Just stick the foam cylinder under the red spigot and let 'er fly. Why do I need to wait - when I'm the only one in the parking lot, not to mention the line - for 5 minutes for a fountain drink? Do you not like me? Have I done something to offend you? It's a FOUNTAIN DRINK. This isn't rocket science.

Also, why does the price of a Route 44 change every time I come thru the line? I know prices are in a state of flux these days, but it changes more than my weight. Please keep it simple for stooges like me.

All for now, but it feels good to be back...