Transition

During the past couple of weeks, we have been visiting churches in the area. The places we've been to so far are wonderful. The people are friendly, many people are from our previous church, the song service inspired, and the message meaty and well worth listening to.

About two weeks ago we were visiting a church and had the opportunity to participate in the Lord's Supper. It's been a while since we've had a chance to do that and, as you know, that can be a time for great reflection.

To be honest, right now my heart is heavy with this particular season we're going through. I want to stay completey in the center of God's will and am sad that the last 13 years at our previous church ended so abruptly with a single conversation. God has led us, at least for now, to a time of separation from the situation. I don't know how long the separation will last - or if we'll be even be led to return -but being a nomad is never fun.

Anyway, during the Lord's Supper I just sat. Existed. Empty. I felt as though I was being emptied and just let it happen.

Once the Lord's Supper was over, we had an exceptional worship time. One of the choruses we sang was "Blessed Be the Name" and I couldn't help it. The tears flowed and my heart broke. Right there, at that moment, it was all I could do not to physically bow down and worship. But I couldn't. That's not proper. So I held it in while the tears flowed.

Fast forward to today. What is one of the choruses we sang? "Blessed Be the Name" The irony is this was at a different church.

And then it happened. David, our precocious 5-year-old, began dancing. He said he couldn't help it and then the words flowed out of his mouth. He didn't care about the notes not being right or what people thought. He just moved and sang. I have to admit, I was jealous. He had no inhibitions about what he was doing, and I was jealous.

Jonathan, the proper 8-year-old, looked at him and told him to stop. He shouldn't do that in church. Then they started having a brotherly argument.

I didn't want this moment to end for my child; too soon he'll look around, like I did, and wonder if anyone saw him and if he should have done that. So, I moved Jonathan between Scott and me and let David go.

After the chorus was over, David looked at me and said, "I just love that song. I can't help it."

I wish I could say that today was a turning point for me and I'll become a hand-raising, swaying Baptist, but I can't. But I was able to see what a childlike faith is like, uninhibited by what's proper and right. I was able to glimpse, for just a moment, what it must be like to completely let yourself go and truly worship God.

Blessed Be the Name