"I have no aversion to eggs"

Earlier today I got my first flu shot...first ever. Longtime readers of this blog will remember last year when I lamented in great detail over my bout with the flu. Well, based upon that horror and the fact that some others I know are now getting really intimate with their toilets, I decided that maybe this year I'd take the plunge and have the doctors poke me with a sharp, metal object.

So, I headed in to the Hannibal Clinic, and they did their magic. But, they asked an odd question on the health waiver (i.e., the document whereby if they, oh, kill you, you shouldn't sue). "Do you have any adverse reactions to eggs?"

I know they have the flu vaccine formula based in some type of egg thing...I'm not a biologist, nor do I play one on tv...but it just seemed a bit odd, that's all.

Well, I went in, and Nurse Nightingale asked if I wanted it in the upper arm. I asked, "Is there another spot?" She just glared at me. I rolled up my sleeve, she poked me, and that was that. But on the way out, my left arm was really tingling, and I didn't really feel all that hot on the way to the car.

I thought, "Wow, maybe I have high cholesterol, and this has triggered something."

Then I realized, "No, you goof. You're just a hypochondriac." Finally. So good to figure things out.

Bad Moon Rising

First, let me ID myself - this is Scott.

I have a really bad attitude. Really bad.

I've contemplated putting this out there for a long time, but I've held back for an equally long time. Until now. Here goes.

I'm not really satisfied at my current church right now. I've not been led to the point of leaving yet, but I'm not really content there. I'm in church membership purgatory, if a Southern Baptist can even have legal claim to use that term.

I remember when we first visited and then joined our church back in the Fall of 1994. I loved going there Sunday mornings, Sunday nights, and Wednesday nights. I couldn't get enough of it. It lasted for years. But in recent years, with the emphases that I've seen, with the approaches to ministry that have turned into programs that have nearly turned our church into a smaller version of the YMCA, with the focus on the bottom line that's made us literally miss seeing the forest for the trees instead of focusing on ministry and spiritual growth, I just don't know what to think anymore.

I also think we're just running haphazard in many respects with our ministries. Sometimes we stick way, way too closely to the letter of the law in our ministries, but there are other times I am upset that we really throw caution to the wind and just beg for problems. There are several examples I could give to document my problems, but I just think we could handle ourselves a little better. I also have a problem with how it seems as though we last-minute most of our ministry opportunities. For example, we (apparently) waited until the VERY last minute to get our ducks in a row for a Halloween alternative to be run by our Awana ministry this year. We just got a postcard this weekend, and last week - the 24th of October - no one really had any idea what we were going to do, but for the fact that it would involve candy.

Did we not know Halloween had been scheduled for the 31st this year?

Those calendars can be tricky, I know...

Am I going to the Halloween alternative or taking our kids? Well, no. First, it's about the "Parable of the Pumpkin Patch". If I want them to know about it, I'll just read them this selection.

Second, if I have to hear one more garden analogy in that building...

Third, it's just the principle of the thing. This was a last-minute, slapped together show. I want my kids to have a nice night, not a night being ad-libbed as we go.

I had a person tell me a few weeks ago that when he was first starting in ministry years and years ago, one of his first full-time church positions required - yes, REQUIRED - him to take one weekend off a month and do something else. Go to a different church, take the weekend off, spend it in prayer at home, whatever...he was required to do something away from that church.

I think I may quickly be approaching that boiling point as well.

My postcards to the edge

Only one from me (SC)

Dear students,

Just because I told one student that I'd look at her term/research paper to see if she had the right concept doesn't mean I want to proofread 50 papers over the couple of days. Unlike you guys, I'm not 18-years old anymore, I can't get 5 hours of sleep per night (though I really try) and survive on it, I can't eat plastic anymore (chili after 9 PM is a bad idea for a plethora of reasons), and I don't have unlimited blocks of time anymore. Take some of the Clearasil money and go buy a word processing program that actually has Grammatik or Spell Check on it.

Signed,
Your bloodshot-eyed professor.

Maybe her teeth threw her off-balance?

Marie Osmond, who so gracefully took a dive the other night on "Dancing With the Stars," now claims she fainted...as a result of the California wildfires. "The air quality is really bad and I have allergies really bad so maybe that was it," she said.

Yes. That was it. You're in an air-tight, sound-tight studio in downtown Los Angeles, miles from the fires, and you're surrounded by bottled water and air purifiers, not to mention a/c units pumping more air than all the wind in Twister combined. Yes. It was the wildfires.

One more letter, from Scott

I'm going to pay for this, but I read what Tammy wrote earlier today, and I have to respond.

Dear Tammy,

When talking to our checking account (words I never thought I'd say), what exactly does "My must you mock me" mean?

"MY must you mock me?"

Interesting.

Letters to the world ...

Stealing an idea from Brandy's blog, I just had to vent a few frustrations, so here goes:

Dear Wal-Mart Customers,

It's Saturday and we're busy. The last place we want to be is Wal-Mart. Has it ever occurred to you that things could move along a lot faster if you MOVED YOUR CARTS???? And when I say excuse me, I mean get out of my way; I know what I want and where it's located. And don't tell me, "You're fine." I know I'm fine - you're the one in my way.

Signed,
Frustrated in a Wal-Mart Traffic Jam

___________________________________________

Dear English Language,

Why must you be so difficult? My son is only 8 and doesn't need the stress of the following:

which, witch
too, to, two
dew, do, due
you, ewe

I could go on, but you know the story. I know the right spellings to use, but he's only 8, for cryin' out loud. Give the kid a break (or is it brake)?

Signed,
For the Children

____________________________________________

Dear Checking Account,

My must you mock me? So full of promise and dreams at the beginning of each month, I'm almost sure we're going to be friends. And then without warning you deflate to almost nothing, making my hopes of eating dinner out tonight or getting a Tall Decaf Mocha Grande (with whipped cream) seem like a distant memory. Can't we work this out?

Signed,
Where's the Love?

_____________________________________________

And finally...

Dear Mass Merchandisers,

It's only October but I saw it coming. A Christmas bulb in July, a piece of garland in August, I knew it was a matter of time before you had to pull out all the Christmas stuff. But I'm not ready. It's too soon. This is all so sudden. I've got to be honest, we need to slow things down a bit. I'm not ready for this kind of commitment. I need some breathing space between back-to-school shopping and deck the halls. Please, all this pressure is tearing me apart.

Signed,
I Need Some Space

Friend or foe?

I was just perusing some of the news websites on the Internet tonight, and like usual, I was really taken aback by the hostility of the stories we see on the news. The days of intelligent debate over issues is gone. It's a 15 to 30 second sound byte mentality and that's usually interspersed with vitriolic language used in the name of compassion and/or standing up for your fellow man. Either that or we're spoon-fed the latest prison abuse video or something like that that's supposed to pass nowadays for news.

In that very moment, I came to a conclusion.

I'm a bad, bad man.

Not like Shaft (watch your mouth!), but really like a bad man.

My Christian faith prevails, obviously. But that still doesn't change the fact that I'm a bad, bad man.

I will engage in self-depricating humor probably quicker than anyone on the planet - I figure I need to make fun of myself because 1) it loosens people up, 2) if you had this kind of ammo to work with 24/7, you'd make fun of yourself, too, and probably the most problematic reason, 3) I poke fun at so many others as well.

Is it good natured? I hope so. Do I cross the line occasionally? Absolutely. Do I know that? Yes. Am I ashamed at some of the lines that creep out of my mouth? Unfortunately, yes.

What really brought this to light was the other night on a phone call between Tammy, a mutual friend of ours, and me, I let slip a comment that wasn't necessarily untrue, but just didn't need to be said. Wasn't necessary, but it just popped out. That just fell into a long line of times I've said things and thought, "Wow, that was REALLY out of bounds and over the line." It really made me stop and think about my attitude, fun loving as it may be more times than not, it also can get the best of me.

It also made me think how patient Jesus is to work with a sinner like me. His love - quite obviously - has no bounds. I'm living proof.

The Ultimate Mom's Song

This is an amazing video. Even if you're not a mom, it's still hilarious.

My body doubles

One month later - to the day - I'm posting again, but this time with a fun little ditty from another blog. To quote my dear friend Brandy, I'm stealing blogs again.

I found this little link from our friends, the Billups, on finding your celebrity look alikes. Looked interesting enough, so I gave it a shot. Here's who I found were my lookalikes:



I'll suggest this to Tammy so she can upload a more recent photo of herself and see her lookalikes.

Think this is accurate? I like the Pierce Brosnan deal...I can live with that...

Profile in Courage?

Recently, over on Brandy's blog, she posted a link to help determine what famous leader you're similar to in nature. The first time I took the test, I (Scott) took the 19-question option, and here's what it came up with:

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Then, the second time, I took the entire 45-question blow-out. This is what I came up with:

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

Which one am I? Let me know what you think.

And, by the way, I'm sure that I don't have to highlight for you the similarities between JFK and Gandhi.

Two words: Babe Magnets.

Two more words: Snappy dressers.

Still "The Natural"

I just read several national media articles on the popular knee-jerk reaction to Rick Ankiel's alleged use of HGH back in 2004.

First, let me say I am an admitted HUGE fan of Ankiel, dating from his days as a pitcher back in the Cards' minor league system. That was pre-pitching implosion. I've watched and rooted for him ever since, and his story is the thing storybooks are written for.

Also, for background's sake, Ankiel had recently undergone elbow ligament replacement (Tommy John) surgery in 2004 and was in recovery that - while I'm not a doctor and don't play one on tv - could have been helped along through the prescribed AND LEGAL use of HGH. It would've produced collagen to help strengthen and aid the ligament's development.

Don't forget - HGH was not a banned substance by MLB at the time. It was just as legal as Gatorade...obviously, ridiculously stupid to use without a valid prescription or without a medical necessity, but legal nonetheless.

So, it would appear the majority of the national sports media are quickly convening a lynch mob for a guy who - in reality - hasn't yet even been accused of committing a crime? Will baseball's so-called "steroid era" also be viewed as the "media jumping through hoops to get to conclusions" era?

As I've said to anyone who's interested, I absolutely believe Barry Bonds probably has used every legal and illegal substance short of cow manure to help enhance his athletic ability. He'd take battery acid straight into his veins if he thought it'd help him hit and be "bigger than life", or at least bigger than Hank Aaron. His head didn't expand to two sizes larger than a canned ham by accident. Ankiel's size hasn't changed, he's always been an amazing hitter (people originally thought he should've been pushed into everyday status when he was first drafted), and he's got large holes in his swing that - should they go uncorrected and become victims to pitchers' exploitations - could bring him back down to earth quite quickly.

For the national media to compare him to Mark McGwire (who I used to believe was falsely accused, but I then changed my mind completely following his congressional testimony) & Bonds right now is a little ridiculous, don't you think? Shouldn't the media give Rick a chance to, oh, I don't know...comment?

Don't eat the daisies, er, raisins

It had to happen someday.

Last night, Scott was carrying dishes from the downstairs to the kitchen when I noticed an empty bowl in his hand.

"Where are the grapes that were in the bowl?"

Scott replied, "I ate them. I thought the kids had left them downstairs and I ate them."

Now, for those of you that don't know, we homeschool. David has been studying the sun (as much as you can when you're in Kindergarten). And so we've been talking about how the sun helps us do all kinds of things, like dry grapes out to make raisins - that is until Daddy ate them.

I knew one of these days a science experiment would get eaten, thrown away, or lost in the house. I'm just glad Scott didn't eat them after they had "turned" into raisins. My teacher's manual was very clear - do not eat the grapes/raisins. They were dried under unsanitary conditions!!

So far Scott looks fine and nothing is growing out of his head. Maybe we dodged this bullet - whew!

Back to the vacation blogs...

The hills in the background are actually an optical illusion; Hays is a wasteland of humanity. I'm sure some lemonheaded freak of nature who has "I'm a Hick from Hays" or "Kall me a Kansan" will probably do a Google search someday, find this blog, and leave some nasty, badly misspelled comment referencing chew or the love his wife & sister (same person) has for the town, but let me assure you, this place is an absolute wasteland.

The day we left Colorado Springs and I picked up my Michael English book, we trekked back across Eastern Colorado through Limon (COMPLETELY missing that gas station THIS time around) and were headed back to the Holiday Inn (and this one was not a "Stay Smart; Stay Holiday Inn Express" site, let me assure you) with the two-story water slide (they bill it as three stories tall, but unlike most of the people in Hays, I can count) we'd stayed at on the way out.

We were, well, let's say unimpressed with this Holiday Inn on our way to Colorado. It was an old Holidome type of hotel that was built probably in the late 60s or early 70s...with probably no updates since then, either.

Well, the a/c didn't work in all the rooms (we had to change rooms once on the way out b/c of the malfunctions), and I found a few dead bugs strewn throughout the hotel...but the kicker was that the in-room a/c unit that actually did work in our second room had the wires and the plastic connectors dangling down from under the motor.

Nice. Last time I pre-book a hotel like that - I don't care WHAT the discount is.

So, while the people there were really nice, Tammy & I decided when we left and headed for Colorado Springs on Monday that - even though the kids thought the 2 story water slide was just the berries - if there was ANYTHING wrong with that hotel when we came back through, we were getting our money back and going elsewhere.

We got our wish.

When we left on Monday to go to Brandy's on the way out, there was a note on the front desk saying the water slide, pool, & hot tubs would be closed for cleaning. We came into town on Thursday, and sure enough, the same note was there.

Who didn't see that coming?

Once we confirmed it, we got out of that rathole and went down the street to the newly built Hampton Inn. As always, I asked my budget nazi & resident Dave Ramsey guru Tammy to go in and ask for a price...and sure enough, she got it for like 10-20 bucks off of the normal rate.

Again, who didn't see that coming?

We ate, had a great night in the pool and room, and got out of dodge the next morning. Wonderful breakfast...on vacation, I'm all about the hot breakfasts...

The Hampton Inn and a few other places are good there...just don't go south of the overpass to the majority of the town. It's ugly...really ugly...down there... but I hear there's a catch-all type of approach they're looking to apply to improve the town's appeal, at least south of the I-70 exit.

It'll really be a huge improvement.

I need you!

I've typed on here many times before that I'm covering the more comedic, quick-hit type of reports from our vacation, but I'm going to leave Tammy in charge of hitting the "shock & awe" moments of heading into Colorado Springs, going through the Rockies west of Denver, etc...in fact, I sort of wanted to wait on her to do that until I wrote any more and until I made some overall changes to our blog.

But, as you can probably see, she's not done that.

I've begged, pleaded...I've even offered money.

No dice.

So, I'm enlisting your help. If you're one of the 4.5 people who actually read this thing, take the time right now to flood this entry's comments section or our inbox with pleas that she take 5 minutes of her time to do an entry sometime before Thanksgiving of 2009. It'd be greatly appreciated.

Remember, the blogging you encourage can spur your own.

At rest...

OK, perhaps I should clarify my most recent post...

Those who haven't known me for long - and they've seen my poundage and relative lack of hair, as well as my contacts instead of glasses most days - don't think the photo I borrowed from a friend of a friend's blog for my most previous post looks at all like me...

However, for those who have known me for some time and know that looks reasonably like me, let me clarify - it was NOT me; it's a borrowed photo, and I was only kidding about Tammy snapping that photo - that's why I put the "thanks to Brandy's friend, Scott..." below the photo, but perhaps I wasn't clear.

So, just to clarify...right now...calm as a day in the mountains, cool as a cucumber...

You can pick your nose, but you can't pick family

More vacation blogs later, but first, Tammy snapped this quick photo after I got off the phone with Mom earlier tonight...

Thanks to Brandy's friend, who also just happens to be named Scott, for the remotely close likeness physically and the uncanny likeness mentally.

Redemption

When we awoke after our trip to San Antonio's SuperTarget ;) the night before, we got ready, packed, and headed to Panera Bread for breakfast with our hostess with the mostest, Miss Brandy. After getting a family photo in front of Pike's Peak (we'll post later) and saying our goodbyes, we headed over to...Focus on the Family. I just felt an absolute calling to get Michael English's new book The Prodigal Comes Home, and I'd seen it a couple of days earlier in the FOTF bookstore.

What a great, great read. If you're looking for an absolutely honest Christian autobiography that is written with warts and all, you need this book. It is a textbook definition of a life redeemed solely through Christ. I'll take time at some point in the future to talk in more detail about this book and the lynching Christian Contemporary Music circles launched against Michael back in 1994, but that's another blog. Let me just say, though, we left on Thursday morning, I did all the driving, but yet by Monday afternoon I'd finished this 200-plus page book. Awesome read.

Can you tell I've always been a fan of his? Talk about a voice that just doesn't, won't, and hasn't quit.

For now, though, let me leave you with this clip - it's not dubbed from my DVD, but it's a YouTube clip of Michael's performance closing out last year's ('06) Gaither Canadian Homecoming concert in Toronto. Quite frankly, if this doesn't reach out, grab you, and move you, you, my friend, are comatose or dead.



More vacation in the next post...on to Hays, KS.

Behind the Music: Brandy McNally

I've taken a lot - a LOT - of shots at Brandy Campbell, our host for the time we were in Colorado Springs. Now, she lists on her website that these shots weren't completely truthful (a notion which I summarily dismiss); however, that not withstanding, I wanted to take a few moments to talk a little about her, how important she is to us, and how her leaving really left a void.

When we headed to and left Colorado Springs, our boys commonly referred to "Brandy and Sabrina" as though they were a single person. Brandy and Sabrina (Price) used to fit right in at our house; one might've thought they could've been charged rent...especially toward the last couple of years Brandy was in town, Sabrina was around a lot more, and they were roommates.

Tammy and I have always been, are now, and probably always will be very social people. We like spending time with our kids and each other, but we also like spending time with other people, too - playing cards, playing games, watching television, or just talking - that's fun for us like nobody's business. It doesn't have to involve money...in fact, with the new emphasis we've taken on becoming debt-free, we'd prefer it not include a huge outlay o'funding. We want to spend time with people that we call and people that call us - it's a two-way street.

On a side note, since Brandy left and Sabrina is on the road a lot with her ministry, that list of drop-of-a-hat fun friends has dried up somewhat. Don't get me wrong - we have great, great friends in Hannibal...but just not too many who probably welcome us calling at any given time and saying, "Hey - get over here and let's do something fun, even if it's watching paint dry...if you're here, we'll find a way to make it fun." We've - or who's kidding who - I've probably been the cause of a lot of answering machine purchases in this region! People probably don't mind hanging around Tammy, but I'm pretty certain they're probably not big fans of me hanging around too often.

You don't realize how good of a friend you have until he or she is gone. We both still feel that void today...most noticeably on Friday or Saturday nights when we're sitting at home. But enough self-pity...

Many times, when I find an opening, I kid good friends unmercifully. And if you've read this blog over the last few days, you know Brandy's been square in my sights. But, I hope she knows how deeply she's loved by this family and how deeply she's missed on a continual basis. We're so proud of the ministry and the huge steps of faith she took in moving to Colorado Springs to start a brand new chapter of her life, and we've seen first-hand God moving dramatically in her life to take her to a level of servanthood she probably didn't even know existed. I can guarantee I'm not anywhere near that level. It's amazing to watch someone who is.

She's traveled around the country and around the globe on mission trips - not because it's her job (though in this most recent case it was), but because she wants to and feels God is calling her to go and share. Let me put this into perspective - she's one of millions around this world who feels God's purpose clearly and completely and is answering it with all her being. But we know her; she's just like family. So, I wanted to make sure to set the record straight - though I wouldn't trust her directions to cross the street, I completely and totally trust in the direction she's receiving and following in her life. We can all be so blessed to have that kind of clarity and opportunity.

Back to the Future

I also toyed with titling this entry "Scott, his pet boy Sherman, and the WayBack machine," but I was woefully afraid no one would know what the heck I was talking about.

On the Wednesday of our trip to Colorado, we awoke to head north to Denver and parts west - shortly after securing a one-day fishing license for yours truly (the boys fished for free in the great state of Colorado).

I've detailed before that I hadn't been to Colorado in nearly 20 years, and Tammy & the kids hadn't ever been there before this trip. This is where this point comes in handy...I was lucky as a kid - we were able to head to California nearly every year for like 5-6 straight years (and then another 4-5 straight years after that following a couple of years break). Every year, we'd drive through Colorado and head west on scenic Highway 6 between Golden and Idaho Springs, and we'd pull off on the side of the road next to Clear Creek and let me fish, throw rocks, etc.

This year, we headed north from Colorado Springs and got into Denver, driving past Mile High/Invesco Field, Coors Field, and Six Flags over Denver before exiting onto I-70 and subsequently Highway 6. I'll let Tammy write another time about the scenic beauty of literally driving through and at the base of the Rocky Mountains, but I'll write about this part - sure enough, about 10 miles into our Highway 6 trip, we ran across the same pull-off I used to stop at two decades ago. What a true treat to spend time with my wife and kids at the same spot I was able to have so many special moments as a child. It was just awesome.

Then later, we headed out I-70, windows still down, moonroof open, and breathing in all of that fresh, 70-degree cedar and pine air and went through tunnels and over mountains. A real treat for the kids was going thru the Eisenhower Tunnel just west of Georgetown and east of Dillon. It takes nearly 2 minutes to go through this tunnel at 60mph, to give you a handle on how big this thing is (if you've never traveled through it yourself).

Once we returned to Colorado Springs, we met up with Ms. Brandy, and after the boys had a brief dip in the pool (on a relatively cool evening, though the pool was heated with the overflow from the outdoor hot tub), we headed to a guided (by Brandy, of course) tour through Compassion International. Brandy, of course, is a staff writer for this great organization that does so much with so little. Tammy and I are prayerfully considering sponsoring a child in the organization. Brandy does a tremendous job for them, and we're proud of her work there.

But, then Brandy had to get us somewhere else in Colorado Springs. And, again, here's where Brandy McNally came up aces.

Tammy told Brandy she would like to go to a Target to stock back up on lunch meat, snacks, etc for lunches & snacks on the drive home. So, Brandy, being the great hostess she can be (did I mention she gave us great welcoming gifts when we arrived - welcoming gifts, friends...welcoming gifts!), she directed us from Compassion to the nearest Target store. We were all talking on the cell phone with Sabrina during the trip, and we ended up having a very detailed conversation with Ms. Price. This is because our SuperTarget we were shopping at was located in Tuscon.

Seriously, it was in Colorado Springs, but like, oh, 50-60 minutes away. Seriously - I had digested my meal already once we had arrived at Target.

OK. Anyway, we get to Target...oh, sorry - SuperTarget - at around 9:45. We're no sooner in the store - which assumedly was open 24 hours - when I hear, "Attention, SuperTarget shoppers: we will be closing in 15 minutes. Please complete any shopping and bring all items to the store front for transactions at this time."

WE JUST GOT THERE. I ran up to Tammy, Brandy, and David (Jonathan & I had just visited the SuperMen'sRoom) and said, "Did you guys hear that? They're closing in 15 minutes."

They were knee-deep in a quick-to-end conversation with Sabrina, so they hadn't heard.

And, our shopping spree began. Ever seen one of those old Laverne & Shirley shows where they've won a shopping spree & are running around the store? That would be us. Again, I'll leave the details for Tammy to write regarding her take on the deal, but the workers there were less than kind, to say the least.

Anyway, and that's how that day went. On to the departure tomorrow. But first...

Focus on our Family

Once we got back to Colorado Springs, our hostess, Miss Brandy, was kind enough to bow out of the office for a few hours to guide us...uhm...guide us around Colorado Springs and the surrounding area.

First, we headed to Dr. James Dobson's Focus on the Family headquarters just down the road from the Campbell homestead. That's a phenomenal facility with a great kids' area - a three-story slide and all, and it's all focused (no pun intended) on the "Adventures in Oddessy" series put out by FOTF. It's even got "At Wit's End" ice cream shop - and the ice cream is absolutely great. The boys ran all over that place, and Tammy & Brandy headed down the three-story slide once. Grunts and all, I headed down it twice. Sort of bad that every time an adult emerges from the slide, you get all kinds of looks from those parents at the bottom waiting for their kids to emerge...

Anyway, once we left there, we headed to the Garden of the Gods mountain rockscape area. Again, it was just an absolutely phenomenal site - the rocks jutting up out of the ground to unimaginable heights, all at the foot of Pike's Peak. Just amazing to see...

...and see it we did. Brandy, aka Cortez, led us on our trek through the rock gardens, and I believe we perhaps ended up in Pueblo, possibly Phoenix, or maybe even Albequerque. I'm not quite sure. I do know, though, that we did not end up where we thought we were going. You know you're in trouble when - after hearing "Oh, shoot. I've been here before lots of times. This is a great area. I know exactly where I'm going", you hear, "Wait...uhm...what did that sign say over there? Well, that's not right...hmmm..."

I fully expected us to end up as mountain lion fillet later that night.

Thankfully, Columbus finally figured out how to sail the ocean blue, and we at least made it back to our CRV. Later, she got turned around the right way, and though Jonathan was just wasted walking-wise, Tammy, Brandy, and David headed up to the "Siamese Twins" area of the park to take a few photos at a great vantage point of Pike's Peak.

The entire time they were gone, I was praying for their safe return. I mean, they each were apparently newcomers to the region...

Anyway, once that was done, we headed to Ted's Montana Grill for Bison Burgers.

Oh my heavens. Now THAT'S eating. Chad Ford introduced me earlier this year to Buffalo Wild Wings, but I'm telling you, Ted's is an instant favorite, too. If they were across the street from one another, I'd have to flip a coin. Amazing food. Just amazing.

Next up, our trip through Denver and my trip back in time...

Gouged at the Gorge

Back to the vacation blogs...

Tuesday morning - July 17 - we awoke to head southwest to Canon City and the Royal Gorge area. It's just beautiful through that area; we turned on the CD we bought from DisneyWorld a couple of years ago with music from the ride "Soarin'" on it. It's just a majestic soundtrack, and I (scott) am such a dweeb.

Anyway, it was great fun rolling through the mountains on the scenic trip down through the Rockies. Tammy, about halfway down to the Royal Gorge, announced she didn't know we were in the Rocky Mountains. Again, much like our hostess with the mostest, geography's not her strong point.

So, we finally got down to the Royal Gorge about an hour later, and we came upon this little quasi-amusement park about a 1/3 to 1/2 mile back from the bridge over the Royal Gorge. The road just sort of stopped at a toll-gate kind of entrance.

Long story short, without going into too much detail, you couldn't even go near the bridge, more or less go across it, without paying an ADMISSION (read: not a toll, but ADMISSION) fee to this little park. The highlights of this park? A carousel, a skyswing ride (not included in the price of your admission), a tram ride over the gorge, a petting zoo, and about 493 gift shops. I don't know if they knew it, but I came to the Gorge to see it and drive over it, not to pet a flippin' goat.

So, I asked this gatekeeper what the admission price was to drive over & back. "$23 per adult, $19 per child". I'm sorry, no, you misunderstood me. I'm not wanting the admission prices to Epcot; I wanted to know how to get into the Gorge park & bridge thingie.

"$23 per adult, $19 per child."

Sweet heavenly lord.

Tammy, aka budget nazi of the midwest, informed me she didn't bring enough of our allocated funds to the park. So, I debited the sucker. Man, that hurt. Anyway, $84 later (unbelievable), we were headed over the Gorge. For those of you who know me really well, you know I'm very scared of heights. So, I was finally able to look over this wooden-slatted bridge bottom (and THAT'S comforting) by the time we came back over.

I'll be hard pressed to ever admit that it was worth $84, but the view was absolutely amazing. Just breathtaking.

One last thing in this entry...that skyswing thing - who in the WORLD would ever engage in this is beyond me. Just unreal. You essentially were put tandem (one on top of the other) in a harness and bungeed out over the Gorge.

No...why don't you just kill me? There's NO WAY I could ever do anything like that. You'd have to kill me first and then shoot my dead body out over the Gorge.

For those who are willing to make that happen, you'll have to stand in line...:)

Next - our visit to Dr. Dobson's City on a Hill, and more fun with the Happy Wanderer.

Stop the presses!

Okay, I just had to take a break from the Callicott Vacation entries to let you all know about a miracle. Trust me, you will not believe this one.

Our house payment went down.

I know, you're in shock. Imagine my own shock when I went to our mortgage company web site and discovered that we will be saving about $6 each month on our house payment.

Let the vacation blogs continue.

Desperately seeking Academy Street

Well, with Limon behind us (and I use the word "behind" very loosely…), we now headed into the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. I don't care if you haven't been there before, you haven't been in 20 years, or you haven't been in 50 years. God's wonder never ceases to amaze and leave you awestruck. So it was with the Rockies as we headed into Colorado Springs.

Shortly after leaving Limon, I told Tammy and the boys that they could start playing the "Find the Mountains" game, as it wouldn't be long before they could be seen on the far western horizon. Well, Tammy and the boys started to point to small little hills that might be big for Missouri, but t'weren't nothing for Colorado.

Finally, on the horizon, not only did the Rockies appear, but so did the hulk of a mountain called Pike's Peak. Amazing. Just breathtaking.

We arrived in town and were just amazed - 91 degrees and virtually no humidity. So cool.

Brandy has an amazing apartment complex. Guess that's where the uptown writers get to stay. We said our hellos to our esteemed hostess, and then after a quick trip down the street to the park to (hopefully) let the boys run off some energy, we headed downtown to Fargo's Pizza, a very cute 2-story pizza place made out to look like a real, true-to-life saloon. Awesome.

Well, here's where the fun comes in. And remember, for an alternative view, please go to Brandy's blog for more. However, we took some regular city streets (i.e., no interstate) down to the restaurant, getting to see some of the sights along the way - the Focus on the Family HQ, the U.S. Olympic Training Complex, etc. After supper, Brandy guided us home via a different direction - back on the Interstate. It'd be a little quicker and give us a different view of the city.

Uhm…or so we thought.

Shortly after we got to the Interstate, we saw it was backed up BIG TIME. Tammy suggested perhaps it was because of a Rockies' game. Once I told her that could be the case, except for the fact that they were out of town…and that they play their home games 75 miles north in Denver…she believed perhaps it might be construction work or an accident. Good call.

Well, I decided not to get on the Interstate - we'd still be there if we had gotten on the highway - and I asked Brandy how to get back to her apartment other than the Interstate. To which, I was met with…well, let's just say this is when I started calling our good, good friend names like "Magellan" and "Brandy McNally". I don't know how many twists & turns we took, but I believe I got gas in Pueblo later that evening, followed by a wash & wax in Glenwood Springs. Perhaps Vail, actually. ;)

To Cortez's defense, it could've been worse…but then came the next day…

Limon

OK, for those with a squeamish stomach, just skip over this entry. Wait for my next one on first getting into the Colorado Springs area and meeting back up with the walking roadmap that is Brandy Campbell.

On day 3 - Monday the 16th, for those who are at home plotting our trip along a calendar and map...and you know who you are - we headed west from Hays into Colorado. Wow. There are deserts, and then there are places that should be deserts. Western Kansas and Eastern Colorado fit into the latter description.

As we got into Limon, Colorado, nature called, and as we pulled off onto Highway 24 for the final 70+ miles into Colorado Springs, I ran us all into a gas station/quick stop for a final stop before the Rockies.

Oh wow.

You know you're in for a story when you walk into what appears to be a very, very clean gas station and quick shop...and there's a long line formed outside of the men's room. Tammy and David took a quick trip into the women's bathroom, but only after hearing a mom (there either wasn't a dad or he wasn't along for the trip) absolutely tear into her kids for apparently misbehaving, not going fast enough, etc - you get the drill.

Well, she and her kids left the women's restroom - "It's been a really long trip," the mom said (we later found out she had a Colorado license...try MY trip, honey - try KANSAS on for size!) - but sonny boy - probably about 6 years old, if our eyes didn't deceive us - was still in the men's room.

Then, when he finally heard her and her small traveling troupe of children emerge from their circus in the women's restroom, we heard eight words that really should've just made us turn around and leave. In a whimpered tone from the men's room, we heard:

"Mom, I need some help with my poop."

Two men in front of us immediately turned on a dime and left.

Jonathan and I, however...not so much.

But, Jonathan did poke my hand and summon me to his level. "Something really stinks," he said. "Oh, it's nothing," I said, unable to smell the horror that my eyes would soon see and nose would soon smell.

Finally, junior left the men's room while walking sheepishly toward his mother. She grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and out they went.

A gentlemen in front of us went into the men's room, and he was in there for, oh, maybe 12 seconds. "Finally," I thought. "Relief is soon in sight."

As soon as he left, in went Jonathan and me, headed for sweet relief just before hitting the Rockies. And then...

Oh my sweet lord...

I immediately and instinctively reached for my BlackBerry to call FEMA. However, having left it in Hannibal to completely get away from my job for a few days, I had no recourse. Face it alone - what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

Or nauseated.

Jonathan and I walked in and were hit with a landfill stench almost immediately. On the floor, on the wall, on the toilet, in the trash can...virtually everywhere but in the toilet, was...well, use your imagination. What do you think was everywhere - cranberry juice?

Wow. It was as though a diaper disposal service wrecked their truck on the interstate.

Jonathan couldn't wait. So, I led him on a serpentine approach to the toilet, and when he was done, I pretty much carried him to the door and walked out. We bought a soda or two from the otherwise spic and span store, and on the way out, we told the two attendants - two very sweet ladies who unfortunately looked as though they were local chairs of the Foster Grandparent recruitment program - that the men's room was, well, the apparent victim of a bowel exorcism.

"Well, great," the cashier said. "We just cleaned that. Norma!" Norma dejectedly started her long walk to her punishment.

Now, I had two problems. Of course, the first was to head across the street to Wendy's before I personally was the victim of a diaper disposal crash. The second - and more challenging - problem was to get past Poop-Boy's mom, who was having an absolute meltdown outside of her minivan parked NEXT to our CRV.

She apparently had found out little junior's secret - he had a "poop problem," as he so accurately and succinctly described it - and the problem had now apparently spread to clothes, etc. All righty, then.

She was slapping clothes on the floor, throwing bags & suitcases around, yelling words that really didn't exist in the English language - it wasn't any kind of cursing, just unintelligible words - and then throwing around even more suitcases, bags, and other items throughout the van. For any number of different reasons, I'd have hated to have been junior in that car.

We ran across the street, and I set land speed records running into Wendy's. Finally, on my slow walk back to the CRV, I looked across the street to the gas station where we'd first stopped.

As we drove past the station and toward Colorado Springs, I saw that mom STILL slamming things around, slamming the door, and finally getting into the van's driver's seat to drive home. For that kid's sake, I hoped it would be a short trip.

Stay tuned. Our arrival into Colorado Springs and our reunion with Brandy "Mapquest" Campbell is coming up next...

Kansas = Hades

OK, this is Tammy...

As we left on Sunday morning, the eastern part of Kansas wasn't too bad. And then you head west...

And now I know why people KEPT going west. They didn't stop. They kept going.

While Scott was driving through Kansas, I was able to read 10 magazines. TEN. The boys watched 4 - FOUR - movies. And we were begging for tornadoes. Anything to break the monotony.

The only breaks to our day were the Eisenhower Museum in Abilene - which was really nice - and the Sternberg Museum in Hays. I was frustrated with Sternberg because I felt like I had just made a $20 donation to the evolutionists' fund.

The Sternberg Museum was in Hays, which - little known fact - was the site of the final casting call for the movie "Deliverance". True - absolutely true.

Once we left Hays on Monday morning, we went to Oakley to "Prairie Dog Town". How do I describe PDT? If you're curious what 20 rattlesnakes sound like or what a 6-legged cow looks like, or even how goats can live with turkeys, you've come to the right place. Very nice people, though.

After leaving PDT, we found a place in Colby (KS) called the "Travel Oasis" with fake palm trees and everything. We let the kids play there a while, and then we made the rest of the trip to Colorado. Perhaps Scott will share in the future his thoughts about Limon, Colorado.

Unfortunately, the eastern part of Colorado looks like the western part of Kansas. I was sure God was playing a cruel, cruel joke. Or that Scott was lost. Neither was true. We eventually made it to scenic Colorado, where we played the, "OK, is THAT a mountain?" game. I learned real quick that what I thought were mountains was nothing compared to the real thing.

Stay tuned for more about our vacation...

Rock on!

It's official - we're back from the great western wilderness known as the Colorado Rocky Mountains. 2000-plus miles later, we're back in hot & humid Hannibal. But what a week.

I've (Scott) been to Colorado before, though it's been nearly 20 years since my last trip west. Tammy and the boys, however, haven't ever been any further west than Kansas City, sans a plane trip Tammy took 14 years ago to her friend's wedding in Phoenix. What an amazing trip. Like Tammy said, we'll be wall-to-wall over the next few days on coverage of our little journey, but for now, I'll start the first day…

We left early on the afternoon of Saturday the 21st and stopped for lunch in Kingdom City at the visitor's center/firefighters' memorial at the intersection of Highway 54 & I-70. My little budget nazi (Tammy) packed lunch food in a cooler for us to use all the way out & back again (we loaded up on food again for the return trip when we left Colorado Springs) so we could save a little coin wherever possible. Plus, it was quick and gave us a little chance to see some things we might not ordinarily have seen - like the firefighters' memorial and the visitor's center at Kingdom City.

If you've never been in that place, drop in next time you're headed to Columbia or Jeff City. They've got huge Lego renditions of Faurot Field and Mizzou Arena that are just phenomenal to view. Amazing.

From there, we headed west thru Columbia and to Kansas City, Kansas. If you've never been to the Legends shopping & lodging area - adjacent to the Kansas Speedway area - you've got to go. We didn't stay at the Great Wolf Lodge because, well, we'd like to eat for the next few years, and we hope our kids go to something other than a correspondence college. But, we stayed at the Holiday Inn Express, and after checking in, we went to the Dino restaurant and watched as Jonathan & David each built their own Dinosaurs: Jonathan built Tom Rex, and David built David Tops. Fantastic.

That's day one. Day two - which I'll leave to Tammy, as she'll express her thoughts of her initial visit through the land known as Kansas - is on the way soon.

BTW, at some point in the relatively near future, we'll start giving our point of view on our actual time in Colorado (Day 3 - Day 5). For an opposing view, please don't hesitate to visit Brandy's blog.

You'll understand why soon, won't they, Brandy McNally :)

Vacation

We just returned from our vacation and it was so wonderful! We drove to Colorado and stayed with a good friend of ours, who was gracious enough to let us invade her home.

There's nothing like doing your Bible study in the morning while having Pike's Peak as your scenery.

We'll post more about our vacation in later days, but just wanted to let our reader(s) know that we had a wonderful time and Tammy is ready to move there!!

And a child shall lead ...

The other day we're sitting at Sonic, enjoying lunch and waiting for our car to be serviced next door, when Scott and I start talking about a particular political figure. Scott was saying that this particular person probably wouldn't be welcome at many political events for the next election cycle because he's viewed as mean and unapproachable.

Our astute 7 1/2-year-old looks at Scott and says, "People haven't even met him and they don't like him? Why?"

Scott responded that people sometimes judge others based on what they hear from other people.

To that Jonathan responded, "How can you judge someone until you've met them?"

Good question, Jonathan.

Peace, please

I have had the wonderful joy of being involved in a Bible study the last few weeks on the fruits of the Spirit. It's a Beth Moore study and if you know anything about Beth, you know that this study is very thought provoking.

Now, over the last several months I've had this nagging feeling that I'm doing too much in my life right now. I feel constantly tired, frazzled, burned out and sometimes just want to pull the covers over my head and call it a day. I'm sometimes a little more testy with the kids than I want to be and if I check the calendar, it's because there's a big project coming up that needs my attention.

The Lord has been quietly, gently leading me for some time to give up some things in my life, I just haven't known what they are. I thought at first it was my job. I was ready to totally give it up in August of this year. Right around the time I had made this decision, I got a raise. No joke. And instead of being happy I had a raise I was mad. Why did I get a raise now when I am planning on quitting my job?

Well other things have happened around the homestead that lead me to the distinct impression quitting is not in the cards for the moment. I won't bore you with the details, just trust me on this one.

So I start this study really wanting to feel God's leading in all areas of my life. I do the totally Christian thing and turn it all over - whatever your will, Lord, I'll do it.

So the first week of the study goes by and I feel a prodding to give up this ministry I'm a part of at church. I must have crossed my righteous wires, God doesn't want me to give up a ministry. It's my job, right Lord? You want me to quit my job, right?

A few weeks go by and we're talking about joy. You know one of the things that can rob joy? According to Beth, it's "when our outpour exceeds our intake." And she flat out asks the question, "Are you serving more than you're seeking?" Ouch.

Like all churches, I'm sure, we have a hard time finding people to fill spots at our church. So my hesitation here is on a number of levels. I'm worried that they won't be able to find someone to fill this spot. And I have a hard time giving up things when I'm in the middle of it because I've been taught to see things through to the end. But what if the thing that you're doing has no end? What if it keeps going and going?

And my biggest problem lies in this: What if they come back and ask me to do it after they've exhausted all their resources? I don't want to let them down. I don't want to be the last, best hope and then say no.

As you can see, I have a Martha complex. People probably view me as someone who's kind of say-it-like-it-is and you'll get over it. But I'm desperately afraid of doing less than perfect. And I'm desperately concerned if I give up something it will be done less than perfect.

This week we're studying peace, the third fruit, and it's the first day of this week's study and the Lord has moved from gentle, quiet prodding to the proverbial hammer on the head - my head - approach.

This weekend my mom and aunt were discussing how I do too much. Mom said that I'm taking away someone else's opportunity to serve by hoarding it all for myself. I honestly hope that's not how it's viewed by others, but she really made me think. And Scott has also suggested in the past that I give something up.

So, this week I need to pick up the phone and resign from this position. I pray I have no guilt over this decision and I can study the third fruit without this restlessness.

Please pass the peace, I'd like a double helping!

When TV was a family event

OK, I admit, I've sort of been cheating recently on blogging. Tammy writes, and I just paste embedded links to You Tube...several over the last few hours, actually. But, man they're cool.

I'll try to blog something substantive over the weekend, but for now:

WOW did ABC ever have the coolest promos - for the early 80s, that is. Look at the shows in this clip - Happy Days, Benson, Hart to Hart, Fantasy Island, Too Close for Comfort, Three's Company, Laverne & Shirley - MAN did they ever have some kick-tube programming back then.

Now, we're left with Age of Love & My Name is Earl.

Holy crap.

Before housewives were desperate...

...there was the Sunday night movie.

As you can see, I'm a big proponent of You-Tube. I pretty much turn it into Me-Tube trying to find old clips, etc. I found this, and MAN does this bring back memories.

I love the baritone of Ernie Anderson..."Raiders...of the Lost Ark..." I love it. Back in junior high & high school all over again.

Murder in the Chimney of 1600

You know, I realize that politics is a dirty business these days, but for crying out loud - to what lengths will people go to in order to win public office? Now it's murder???

This guy will stop at NOTHING!



And yes, you have no idea how pained I was to reference Leno at all in this clip...;)

A day in the life...

Over the last 10 1/2 years, I've had a lot of people ask me what I do for Kenny. In addition to keeping a very aggressive outreach and public speaking schedule, I get to meet with a lot of constituent groups. People then ask what the meetings are like. Let me share with you a snippet from one of my favorite shows, "The West Wing".

This should give you a pretty good idea. My general personality falls somewhere between C.J. and Josh, though I tip more toward Josh...

Wacko Woman

Resident psycho Britney Spears announced today that she is allowing members of her fan club to vote online and suggest titles for the name of her new album.

Now, since I'm not a member, I'm hoping one of her members comes along to this page, because I have a suggestion.

Why not just call it "AAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE: The Voices in My Head Won't Stop!"

Or, how about "Crazy White Woman".

Here's one. "Looney Tunes". That's my personal favorite, though she'll probably have to get a waiver from Warner Brothers.

Can you name them all?

When Tammy & I were kids, we absolutely loved Schoolhouse Rock. From "Conjunction Junction" to "I'm Just a Bill" to "Interjections", they were just some of the best and most fun educational moments I can remember - learning without trying (or even knowing you WERE learning!). But, they're just memories from the past.

A few years ago, the WB network (which isn't even around anymore), had a show called "Animaniacs". Here's a great modern-day attempt at a Schoolhouse Rock moment.



Oh, for the simple days...

Billy Martin lives!

Oh my word...

Remember, I never liked her

This is the clip where Paula Abdul, former Laker girl, bubble-gum pop star from the 80s, and now American Idol judge, swears she wasn't intoxicated or under the influence of anything, period.

Wow. I saw this and didn't really know how to react. I went from out & out hysterical laughter to the feeling of watching an accident during a televised car race - nothing you can do to stop it, but you're not gonna miss a minute of it, either.



Now remember - she was NOT intoxicated in any way during this infamous interview.

BOOM!

Albert Belle's forearm shiver and the pigeon murdered by Randy Johnson are both among my favorites...

I love summers in Chicago...

OK...I, quite obviously, am a huge Cardinals' fan. This year's not been great, but wow. We may be losin'...but we ain't fightin!



What a professional outfit that bunch is. Awesome.

That just burns my butt!

Time for a new feature on our little corner of the blogosphere. Time for you to answer the question, "What burns your butt?"

Gas prices, frivilous lawsuits against restaurants owned by baseball announcers, whatever the case, it's your turn.

Just click the "comment" link below this entry and let us know your thoughts.

This should be good...

Heeeeeere's Johnny!

I have always - ALWAYS - been a huge fan of Johnny Carson & David Letterman...the rightful heir to Johnny's late-night throne, by the way. Carson was just magical and Letterman had and still has much of that magic and respect for the medium and for those who came before him - most of all, Johnny himself.

With this week marking the 15th anniversary since Johnny went off the air and chin-boy (Leno) being given the keys to a car way, way outta his league, here's a rare glimpse of Johnny & Dave together in Johnny's last tv appearance just over 13 years ago...Friday, May 13, 1994:



Priceless.

Way too long

Tammy said the other day that our blog entires are really long.

I disagree.

John 3:16

Today our pastor opened his sermon by quoting John 3:16.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life."

We've probably all heard that verse from time to time throughout our lives. We know that it means God loves us so much that He was willing to let His Son die in our place for our sins. And believing that Jesus would do that for us, and then accepting His invitation to live in our hearts, allows us to live with Him forever in Heaven.

But what struck me today was the absolute simplicity of the entire verse. He loved us. He died for us. We believe. We live with him forever.

And then I thought of another verse, Mark 10:14:

"Suffer the little children to come unto me ... for of such is the kingdom of Heaven."

Jesus is asking us to be like little children. You know why? They love unconditionally. Today I asked my children if they love me. When they said yes, I asked them why. They said, "Because I love you."

They weren't trying to be cutesy or even insult me by not being able to think of one good reason. They don't need a reason; they just love me.

God does the same thing for us. He doesn't say, "For God so loved the world BECAUSE ..." and start a list of things that will win His love. He just loves us; He doesn't need a reason.

And I think that's why God wants us to be like children. They accept what we tell them because they know we love them and are only looking out for their well-being. It's when we start to question them (how do you feel about that? why are you doing that? what were you thinking?) that they start questioning us.

But God doesn't question us when He calls to us. He doesn't ask us why we didn't answer Him sooner. He doesn't demand. He waits.

"But God demonstrates His own love for us in this, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8

He showed His love before we even knew we needed it. And he waits. He wants us to be like children, children who run to their Father when they see Him, their faces all lit up when He's in the room. Children who are so excited that when their Father is around they don't care who else is there - they are practically chomping at the bit to talk to Him, ask His opinion, and share about their day.

My prayer is that I once again become that little child, so full of wonder at my Father and constantly listening for His footsteps at the door. I want my heart to be so full of awe around my Father that I'm practically bursting.

I want to be that child.

Cardinal Red to Funeral Black

"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone".

-- Bart Giamatti, former MLB Commissioner, from "The Green Fields of the Mind" in the Yale Alumnus Magazine during his tenure as Yale President in 1977.

I love the above-referenced quote, but I despise using it. It's never used in happy connotations; only the sad, morose, deeply tragic moments of life. This is no different.

Very early today, journeyman starter and long reliever Josh Hancock, who only last year became a St. Louis Cardinal, died in a violent traffic accident along Highway 40 in St. Louis. Hancock's Ford Explorer struck nearly full force the rear of a 20,000+-pound tow truck in the far left lane of westbound 40. Hancock, from all reports, died instantly, but not before perhaps seeing the tow truck and at the last minute - but sadly too late - attempting to turn away from the fatality.

I write today not with the doubly grief stricken heart with which I posted five years ago on our family's now defunct website, facing the deaths of two Cardinals so close to one another. So many are citing the feeling we had with the sudden and unexpected loss of Cardinals' ace Darryl Kile in June of 2002, who died as a result of a coronary artery blockage in a Chicago hotel room. But I would submit that Kile's death was so much more tragic because just days before, Cardinal Nation faced the horrible loss of longtime announcer Jack Buck, accepted by millions as one of the leaders of Cardinal Nations, the true voice of our summers for so many generations.

But today, as St. Louis Post-Dispatch columnist Bernie Miklasz so correctly wrote in his column, while this isn't two times the grief we faced two years ago, this moment still reopened old wounds from Kile's (and Buck's) death that really had never healed. Not to downplay Jack's death, but he'd lived a long & fulfilling life, and he'd been ill for some time prior to his passing. Kile's death was sudden, literally shaking fans and disinterested onlookers in much the same way - a young man in the prime of his life who just days before had been on display, showing the amazing God-given talents he'd been provided. And then, like a lightning bolt, we were jerked from the escapism of professional sports back to the reality of the fragile nature of life. We're guaranteed nothing, short of forever in Heaven with Jesus if we're saved. Beyond that, everything's a crap shoot.

Five years is a long time. Five years ago, our oldest son was just 2 1/2 and David was still a newborn barely able to coo. But in one flash, one blink of an eye, it was June of 2002 all over again. Another Cardinal-Cub matchup called off because of a player's tragic and sudden death. Kile's was untimely, but we're told, hopefully peaceful. Hancock's was the spectrum opposite - violent and more than likely at least momentarily painful.

Should there be an upside to this - and we struggle to locate one - it's that Hancock leaves no wife, no kids behind. I still remember the images burned into my head of Flynn Kile with her two children by her side at the memorial for Darryl in the old Busch Stadium a few days after his death. Somehow, when the old Busch Stadium was torn down, I think we all hoped the memories of a player's death and subsequent moment of silence or memorial service were distant memories.

Unfortunately, just five short, short years later, we face those memories again.

Hancock won't ever be remembered as a star with the Cardinals. The standing ovations rarely - if ever - came his way. To a man, there's no one in Cardinal Nation who would - with an ounce of honesty about them - claim that Hancock received the same ovation received by a Chris Carpenter or an Albert Pujols.

But no one can claim he's not due the same amount of respect.

In Tupelo, Mississippi, his hometown, Hancock's mom and dad are already preparing for a day no parent should ever be forced to face...the day of their son's funeral.

As a parent, I can't even begin to imagine the pain they're feeling at this moment. May God have mercy on his blood family and his professional family over the next few days, weeks, months, and years.

How odd...just hours earlier at church - still unaware of the horrible news from St. Louis - several friends and I had separate conversations with the same general tone: "Are you worried about the Cardinals this year?" To a man, I answered, "Yes, I'm getting there pretty quickly."

I'm still worried about them, but for a much different set of reasons.

Again, for the second time in five years, fans are paying tribute at the Musial statue outside of Busch, and Cardinal Nation is draped in Funeral Black.

A conversation with David

Lately my youngest son has been talking more than normal. Or maybe I've been listening more than normal. Either way, there's been a lot of talking going on.

David is 5. I know that because he tells everyone that when they see him.

I wanted to give you a glimpse into the world of David. This is a conversation I had with him just this morning. When you read this, stand on your tiptoes, wander around the room, and talk really really fast:

David: Mommy, the B says buh as in ball and bat. Can I have an apple? Cause I really like apples.

Me: Sure, Dav...

David: Can I have some marshmallows too? They are all different colors, are they? The S says ssss as in snake and sun. A, B, C, D, - Mommy, do you like marshmallows?

Me: Well, David, I gue...

David: Mommy, can I play a vieo game today? (d missing on purpose) Can I watch cartoons? Mommy, are you almost done with my apple? Can you put it in a bowl, Mommy? Are you listening, Mommy?

Me: Yes, David. I'm listening. Here is your apple.

David: Can I have some chocolatey chocolate milk? It tastes really, really good, does it? Mommy, I can't carry all these things. Will you put the marshmallows in a different bowl? First I pick up the chocolatey chocolate milk, then the apple, then the marshmallows. Carefully, carefully carry my stuff. I got it, Mommy. Thank you, Mommy.

Me: Sure, David.

Now, David is gone before he hears me say anything to him. I think he's gone on to play, but then he comes back.

David: I haven't had any love from you this day, Mommy. (big hug and kiss from my amazing 5-year-old). I love you, Mommy.

Me: I love you too, David.

I love my friends

The weekend after Easter, a very dear friend of ours visited from a land far, far away. We call this land Colorado.

Anyway, I've been thinking about what I want to say regarding this visit for some time. You know what was so awesome about it? We didn't do anything exciting. We hung out, ate some spaghetti, and just visited. It was great to laugh with her and just do nothing.

We don't get the chance to do that as often as we should anymore. We're too busy. Or everything has to be planned. Why can't we just do something off the cuff and be spontaneous once in a while?

Now granted, we knew she was coming. But we just wanted to spend time with her, find out about her new life in Colorado, and fill her in on our lives here. So rather than fill our time with her with something to do, we just sat down in the living room and had one of the best afternoons we've had in a long time.

I understand that sometimes we need to plan for things. You can't spend your entire life going from thing to thing with no idea of what's going to happen next. Some areas of your life must be planned out. I'm just saying that a full calendar doesn't mean a full life.

The kids are growing up

My kids are growing up. I know this not because of the fact that they're getting taller, get dressed on their own, or potty (YES!) but because of this one simple fact.

My purse is clean.

I know that sounds strange, but go with me on this one.

The other day I bought a wallet. I was tired of my money being in a bank envelope and having my driver's license wander aimlessly around the inside of my purse. Now, everyone knows that when you buy a new wallet you have to clean out your purse. At least all my Type A friends know this and those Type B people out there, you now have a project.

Anyway, so I'm going through the contents of my purse and I realized something. There were no cars, super heroes, bouncy balls, or toy guns in my purse. There were also no candy wrappers, Cheerios, Bubblicious, or melted chocolate there either.

When the kids were really little, I had all those things in my purse and more. I needed the huge purse in order to carry around all the things my children got tired of carrying whenever we went somewhere.

Now my things are lost in the chasm known as my purse. It's kind of sad, until I realized something.

I can now fill it with lipstick, my address book, some gum for ME, and other fun stuff that I used to put in there BC - before children.

Even after doing that there's still a little bit of room in there for the occasional stray toy that happens my way - just in case.

Climate Change please?

This is ridiculous. I am so ready for winter to end.

I usually am pretty hardcore when it comes to being well. For example, I've only missed about 1-2 sick days in the past 3 years or so. Up thru recently, I've been pretty blessed with nothing more than a runny nose or the like.

Then this winter happened...

So far this year, I've had a bout with the respiratory flu, strep throat, an ear infection, back spasms, and now a sinus infection sooooo bad it brought on a complete matching set of pink eye. Nothing better than waking up on this past Wednesday morning when I was set to be at an economic development meeting but not being able to see the clock because my eye was matted shut.

Oooh. Now that just screams contagion. Yeah, baby - come shake MY hand. Let me wipe my eye first, though.

What's made me so ill this winter? Say it with me...

...Global Warming.

Oh, yes - and that third arm, growing out of my head.

Thriller!

In class today, my students presented two group presentations - they both were absolutely awesome, and they'll be fodder for a later post. But long story short, one of the groups showed part of Michael Jackson's Thriller video for their presentation on the 80s.

Well, of course I tried to relive my childhood and go to YouTube and find the video clip they used. I found it, but look what else I found...



A clip for clip reproduction. That is AWESOME!

Mom My Ride

There should be a Blue Book for Parents at all car dealerships.

Jack Bauer: The man, the myth, the legend

Let me say first, I'm as hetro as it gets. However, I'm secure enough in my manhood to admit I have one HUGE man crush on Jack Bauer. You know Jack, right? 24's lead agent who, in at least 6 televised days, has yet to go to the bathroom or brush his teeth (ewwwww). But I'm tellin' you, I'm hooked.

Back to that reply email thing from a few posts past, I received an email recently with some "Jack Bauer truths". These are just a few of my favorites:

Jack Bauer let the dogs out.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

When Google can't find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk.

People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

And, not to be outdone, here are some of the BEST actual quotes from CTU's most famous agent:

"If you don't tell me what I want to know, then it'll just be a question of how much you want it to hurt."

"The only reason that you're conscious right now is because I don't want to carry you."

"I'm gonna need a hacksaw." (You don't want to know the context...)

"What's going on? You mean besides a 747 falling out of the sky and a threat on a presidential candidate's life?"

"I'm the last thing you will ever see if anything happens to my wife or my daughter."

And, quite possibly my favorite: "You have no idea how far I am willing to go to acquire your cooperation."

Holy Crap!

I heard this the other day on the Paul Harris show on KMOX in St. Louis...I'll comment after the text of the story, courtesy MyWay news:

VA Patient Has Wrong Testicle Removed

Apr 4, 11:43 PM (ET)

LOS ANGELES (AP) - An Air Force veteran has filed a federal claim after an operation at a Veterans Administration hospital in which a healthy testicle was removed instead of a potentially cancerous one.

Benjamin Houghton, 47, was to have had his left testicle removed June 14 at the West Los Angeles VA Medical Center because there was a chance it could harbor cancer cells. It also was atrophied and painful.

But doctors mistakenly removed the right testicle, according to medical records and the claim, which seeks $200,000 for future care and unspecified damages. He still hasn't had the other testicle removed.

"At first I thought it was a joke," Houghton told the Los Angeles Times. "Then I was shocked. I told them, 'What do I do now?'"

Houghton, his wife, Monica, and their attorney, Dr. Susan Friery, said they hoped to get the VA's attention by going public with the situation.

Dr. Dean Norman, chief of staff for the Greater Los Angeles VA system, has formally apologized to Houghton and his wife.

"We are making every attempt that we can to care for Mr. Houghton, but it's in litigation, and that's all we can tell you," he said. The hospital changed practices as a result of the case, he added.

My comment? I believe it was Paul Harris who said when his wife went in for knee surgery last year, he watched the doctors walk over to her right before surgery and write "YES" on the knee to be operated on and "NO" on the good knee.

What do you want to bet, no matter what type of dimensia I may eventually get, I remember this little ditty?

Quick replies

Just to let each of you know who've emailed and written to us recently, this is Scott typing, and I'd like to admit to a weary public that I'm horrible. Absolutely horrible.

I read each of your emails, trust me. I do read them.

Though you'd never know it.

So, I thought I'd take some time here to do some mass replies right here:

Angels can be friends, I agree.

I love the Easter Story cookies.

I treasure my civil liberties as well.

Yes, 100,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea is a good start (sorry to all my lawyer friends).

No, I've not sent this on to 18 people in the 32.8 minutes after I read your email; I doubt anything will appear on my screen.

Red, and Huey Lewis & the News.

Bill Gates isn't contacting me to give me a cold, more or less $1 million.

There is NO Bill 602P, and Congress is not angling to tax emails. If and when they do, I'll sign your petition.

It's a week into the season, and I'm not concerned.

Yes.

No.

Five.

Of course.

Not this time.

I'm married, but thank you for the offer.

I don't need your club; I'm satisfied with my hair (or lack thereof) right now.

There's no way you can offer me that & still make a profit, so no.

I don't need "Bob" or any of his pills. Get back to me in 20 years or so.

There are no "toxic fumes" from pumpkins (I promise, I got one like this).

Now that I've got that off of my chest, I can go back to ignoring you.

A Servant's Heart

We've said for a long time we've been blessed with the way Jonathan & David handle situations. Both of them are pretty mature for their age, and we never cease to be amazed at the size of their hearts. Today - Easter Sunday - was no exception.

During the service, our pastor gave a children's sermon to the kids in attendance. Through the course of the sermon, he gave the kids a few items, one of which was a cross, another was a piece of candy, and another was a thin, solitary dime for each child who came up front for the children's sermon. This lit up Jonathan's morning. He's all about the Benjamins...or in this case, the Roosevelts.

Later, following the sermon and invitation, we were taking the offfering, and right in front of Jonathan - all of 7 years old - passed the offering plate. Jonathan, completely without prompting or even a look or head nod, took his one dime, dropped it into the offering plate, & passed it on through the pew.

I know it's just 10 cents, but that's a servant's heart. I had two diverse and completely spectrum opposite lines race through my head. Shakespeare wrote, and Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka later said, "So shines a good deed in a weary world."

However, there's a passage more meaningful...

"Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 18:3 (NKJV, just because I wanna tick off the traditionalists...)

Don't get me wrong - we give sacrificially to our church, both financially and with our talents & time. But to see him do that with no prompting, no anything...it felt wonderful and fulfilling as his father, yet somewhat empty when I think about the times I let the plate pass by, both figuratively & literally. When it comes down to it, church isn't hard...though we make it that way more times than not. If my seven year old grasps it in a way that puts us all to shame...well...I pray we all may be about His business in a way that'd truly make Him point to us and say with absolute pride what I was thinking this morning:

I love my boys.

The Morning Guy

Often times, this is what Tammy says it's like living with me.

Not because of my radio experience, but simply because - say it with me - I never will shut up.

Pay every bit of attention to the man behind the curtain...

Just saw one of the funniest videos I've ever seen in a while. Brings back a lot of memories, esepcially with my love of Disney.

And yet again, another award show I never knew existed...

I love sarcasm

For those of you who don't know, I worked for five years in local radio on-air on three jointly-owned stations. My degrees (undergrad & grad) are in communication, and I have a great affinity for St. Louis talk radio, whether it be the mighty MOX (The Voice of St. Louis, KMOX) or the Cards' flagship, the Big 550 (KTRS). Paul Harris is a vet of both, and he currently hosts the Paul Harris Show weekdays from 2-6 PM on KMOX AM 1120. He also has a blog he updates several times daily at www.harrisonline.com - let me recommend it - it's a great read.

With all that said, here's possibly the funniest yet most bold and truthful blog entry I've read in a long time, again, available at www.harrisonline.com from Friday, February 9, 2007...as you may recall, this is the day Anna Nicole Smith died, just days after NASA astronaut Lisa Nowak went ape and drove in a diaper from Houston to Orlando in a love-induced haze...

"An Apology

Dear Crazy Astronaut,

We're sorry we can't continue to exploit your story any further, but a rich large-breasted stripper has died, and we have to devote all our resources to showing clips of her drunk and speculating on which loser impregnated her last.

Sincerely,
The 24-Hour News Networks and Tabloid Shows"

Paula is nuts

"Forever Your Girl"

"Straight Up"

"Cold Hearted Snake"

"Opposites Attract"

"The Way That You Love Me"

Wow. It's like a walk down the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame's Greatest Hits aisle, isn't it?

When looking back at these deep, penetrating, musical messages from the 80s and 90s, is there any surprise that Paula Abdul's cotton candy singing translated over into her cotton candy reviews in "American Idol"? I usually only watch the train wreck auditions and turn off the show when it gets to the weekly elimination stuff...I mean, I watch auto racing for a nice crash and a car fire, and that's pretty much the equivalent quotient I look for in Idol.

I was sitting here tonight, listening to these potential stars sing for the American public and the Idol judges. I usually agree with Simon when I've heard him comment on people's singing abilities. Randy's usually pretty accurate.

And then there's Paula.

I don't know what kind of anti-depressants she's taking or freaky positive-thought guru-led cult she's a member of, but I really think someone could get up there, sing the National Anthem with a Ben Stein monotone, and she'd applaud their "individuality". I could literally wet myself and she'd applaud my wanting to break out of the mold and try something new. I could melt down into some kind of Jamie Lee Curtis-screeching movie heroine on stage, and she'd say my voice is penetrating and attention-getting.

This woman needs an intervention.

I'm not saying to answer "yes" to the "does this make me look fat" questions we get in our life. I mean, that's inviting homicidal percentages to increase exponentially nationwide, and with my ever expanding waist, I'd rather not encourage that answer to that question right now. But, there's nothing wrong with - if someone is in a situation where they're asking for an honest opinion (and you know they want to hear one, too...you ever know anyone who honestly wants to hear they look fat?) - tell them it needs to be better, not complement them on their "soul" or "heart" or some crap like that.

Also, just as a sidelight, how many songs can these people sing from Whitney Houston? It's a shame she's probably still in a "Bobby Brown-left-me" induced coke-haze to know her songs are being used on the show.

It's just Peabody-winning type of material.

I'm sure you could light a small town on the rotations from Bill Paley's cold dead body if he knew television has evolved to this...

I am not a wimp????

First of all, I would like to say that I've never considered myself a wimp. I've had 2 babies, one being 9 1/2 pounds to boot, and I've even taken a vacation with my mother-in-law. If you knew her, you would know that qualifies me for non-wimp status. But this week has left me with the terrible feeling that maybe I was wrong.

Last week I had a rather unfortunate accident here at the house, which caused my pinky finger on my left hand to be broken. That's right, b-r-o-k-e-n. Not being a wimp (see above) I tried to tough it out, telling myself that it was just bruised and all fingers, when they're bruised, are supposed to be twice the size of normal fingers.

Anyway, the next day I wake up to a brand-new day. I go to wash my hands, and silly me, bend my finger. After nearly passing out from the pain (no joke) Scott convinces me that there could be something a little more serious going on with the old digit.

So after having x-rays and all that stuff I found out it is indeed broken. No heavy typing, keep the splint on for 4-5 weeks, and you'll be as good as new.

Okay, fast forward to this week. I have now done something to my lower back. I get up like an old woman, walk like a duck, and feel like a fool. I don't even know what I did to my back, so when people ask what's wrong with my back, I don't have an answer.

People say that when you hit 40 things start going downhill. I'm not 40 yet - I've got a few years to go - but I've got a birthday this week and I feel like this is God's way of telling me things are about as good as they're going to get.

As I said earlier, I'm not a wimp. I am, apparently, a whiner.

I'm scared of American Idol

I mean, like, really scared. I'd like to try to be on there (but for the fact I'm just unbelievably over the age limit and I hate lines at DisneyWorld of 12 people, more or less a meeting of 10,000 of my favorite friends in a crappy run down football stadium).

Except, I wonder, do I really have a decent voice at all? I mean, I think I do and other people have told me it isn't wretch-worthy, so it can't be too bad, right?

Well, yeah, that's what I thought. Until I see some of these lummoxes who appear on the show and are completely unable to warble through two lines of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" without sounding like an EBS warning signal - and I'm talking about the new staticy-ones, not the old beep tones they used to have.

What the crap are these people thinking? Are their friends just undeniably mean when they tell them they should go on the show, or when they hear the potential contestant ask for their opinion, is it the same as being asked, "Do I look fat in this?"

Then again, Richard Hung got a record deal out of imploding on national television. I know I'm not great, but I'm not that bad either...

Yes, there you have it. Yet again, the middle class gets screwed. - sc

Oscar perspective

I saw where Meryl (whose parents must've really hated her) Streep won a Best Actress Oscar nomination for her work in The Devil Wears Prada.

Just to put this into perspective, this is only one more nomination than my dead Grandmother received, and she wasn't in any movies last year.

I've been waiting weeks to use that line. Thank you for coming to tonight's show; I'll be here all week. God bless! - sc

Things you never hear in an exercise video

Just listening to the audio of this absolute nazi of a woman in one of Tammy's exercise videos as I sit here at the computer made me think of several things you never hear in an exercise video.

1. "Pick it up, gumbo."

2. "You look like a goober."

3. "I'm not getting paid enough to put up with your backtalk."

4. "Time for a snack break."

5. "Smoke 'em if you got 'em."

6. "Good night, did you hear that pop?"

7. "Last week a woman died on the set."

8. "My inspiration is Rosie O'Donnell."

9. "I have absolutely no training for this."

10. "That will never fit."

After much soul-searching...

I wanted to take this opportunity today, after considering and talking over the decision with my family, friends, supporters, and most of all, deeply in prayer, to officially announce I will not be a candidate for President of the United States in 2008.

I realize this comes as a blow to many who had urged me on in recent months. I know our country stands at a crossroads, and we have many decisions to make and many opportunities in which to share. However, while I believe I may have been able to successfully lead our country into the future, I have chosen to step aside at this time.

Between our children's baseball, soccer and swimming practices, and my desire to go to the bathroom in my own home versus the side of the road just outside of Butte, Montana, I wanted to announce my intentions today to successfully clear the field and allow my throngs of supporters to flock to other candidates, as we are just 729 days from Inauguration Day 2009. I realize I'm cutting it close, but hopefully this late announcement will allow them enough time to get their organizations together and completely monopolize this non-election year with ads, flyers, news appearances, and other opportunities to completely repel what voters remain after the 2006 cycle.

God Bless You, and may God Bless the United States of America. - SC